Wednesday, July 24

The Devils Tool Box - The Nails of Acceptance

It may seem strange that I'm starting this series by talking about acceptance as a tool used in the devil's toolbox but it does have a good reason for being the first topic looked at in this teaching. Accepting things, in general, is not a bad thing, in fact, it is important to accept certain things in order to move forward in personal growth and there are things the devil will try to stop us from accepting. However, there are things that if we accept too easily, they will actually stunt our personal growth.

We are going to look at 2 of those things that can cause us to stay stuck by accepting them. In order to explain this, I'm going to start out by looking at it from the viewpoint of the thoughts attached to each of these things, then explain why and how it is dangerous to think this way and how to move from a negative viewpoint to a positive.

What is important to remember is that the devil is a liar and so each of these thoughts is a lie, let's now look at the evidence for that statement, in each of the thoughts we have that keep us nailed where we are in a negative way. 

Let's begin,

Thought that is a Lie 1. Things will never change. - Hopelessness
When things have been the same way for a long time, we often get it stuck in our head that things will never change. This is because it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are in the middle of it. It is very easy to lose hope and just accept that this is our lot in life and nothing is ever going to change so we may as well accept it and deal with it. 

Why is this dangerous? 
This is a dangerous thing to think because it completely limits your mind in terms of thinking of options to getting out of a situation, this can and usually does lead to worry and depression. Depression is like quicksand, it will just suck you in further and further if you allow it to do so. The result of thinking a situation is hopeless is despair. As soon as you hit that lower level of despair, it opens the door for the devil to start whispering more lies to you and you are far more likely to believe them. It is a long journey to get out of depression and despair and one that often involves a roller-coaster of emotions that are very hard to deal with alone. 

How can we change this thought into a positive?
We can change this thought of things will never change into a positive by refusing to believe that this is all life has to offer. The fact is no matter how hopeless a situation may seem, there are always choices even if the only choice you have is to change your attitude towards the situation your in. By choosing to believe that life has more to offer and then committing to doing whatever you can in order to make your life better, one small step at a time, you will start to see little changes. 

The best way to get unstuck when your in a rut, (which is basically another way of staying stuck in the mud or stuck going through the motions) is to change something. Even if the something you change is only small, if the routine is really that much of a pain to you, then even a small change will be welcomed. As you start to make small changes you will start empowering yourself to create the life you want, which in turn will help with convincing yourself that the next statement the devil loves to whisper to you to keep you stuck, is also a lie. 

Thought that is a lie 2. I can't do this because of _______ - Lack of confidence 
If we believe the lie that nothing will ever change, we often also believe that we will never change. This then gives way for this second lie to come in to play. We magnify all the bad points about ourselves and decide that because of all these negative traits, habits or attributes in us, or any number of external circumstances of factors that somehow we are not going to be able to cope with the situation. The truth is, under it all. Fear has us under the thumb. 

Why this is dangerous?
Our natural instinct when it comes to feeling uncomfortable is to avoid the thing making us feel that way and so we stay stuck. Fear keeps us paralyzed and so we wind up overthinking everything and worrying excessively, which has a negative effect on many areas of our lives including our health. In other words, staying stuck can cause so much destruction that is can actually put your life at risk. 

How can we turn this into a positive? 
In my own life, I can honestly say the only way to deal with fear is to face it. I am sure you have heard that before. It is a tried and tested fact that works in a whole host of situations. The best thing to do when it comes to dealing with fear is to educate yourself and then face it. When you educate yourself on something you don't understand or are afraid of it can make you feel more confident to actually face the fear. Sometimes educating yourself is enough, but that is very rare. 

 An amazing, life-changing book I would recommend if you are wanting to learn how to deal with fear is Feel the Fear and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers. 

There are plenty of resources out there, you need only do your research, however, no amount of research is going to compensate for the freedom that can only come through facing your fear.  Of course, there are things that you don't have face if you don't want to, not all fear is bad and not all fears need to be addressed immediately. The question to ask when deciding if this certain fear needs to be addressed is simply how is this fear affecting my life? If it is affecting you in a negative way and you could actually say that the fear in one way or another is controlling your life or how you feel about yourself then it is probably best to face it and sort it out. 

Disclaimer- Don't be stupid, use your head, don't break the law to face a fear and always remember to stay safe. Remember that professional help is available if you're dealing with an irrational fear that controls you and it never makes you weak to get help if you need it. 

There is a positive side to acceptance that can actually help with moving forward and the devil will do everything to keep you from accepting 5 simple truths because he knows that if you accept them, you will empower yourself to move forward. If you don't accept these three simple truths, you will be equally as stuck as you will be by accepting the negative thoughts already explained. 

5 Truths that we need to accept in order to move forward in life 

1. I may not like where I am now, but I don't have to stay stuck, things can change.
2. I am responsible for my own happiness. Even if I don't have control over my situation, I can still have control over how I react to it. 
3. I am worthy of good things to happen to me. 
4. I don't have to do/face this alone. 
5. My attitude has a direct effect on my result. 

  •  The two thoughts that the devil likes to get us to accept in order to keep us from moving forward in life are Things will never change and that you can't do this. 
  • Both of these are not true because of it down to choice. Even if the only thing you have control over is your attitude towards a situation. The devil is a liar. 
  • By making small changes, you will start to gain the confidence you need to believe that you can do anything you need to do and begin to see that you don't have to stay stuck. 
For those of you wanting to know where I get my information to write this, a source list will be available at the end of this series. 

Friday, July 19

The Devils Tool Box - Introduction

Back in January, my new year's resolution this year was to raise the standard.

I've pretty much been MIA since then, and that's because I have been working really hard to turn my life around. 

I felt like my life really needed an upgrade. 

Life was okay, but I was fed up of never having time, feeling down and just not being as organised and productive as I would like. Seven months into 2013 and I'm still not where I want to be, but I am content with starting right where I am at and taking the next step to continue to raise the standard. I've learnt a lot this year. I made a point of really applying myself to learn as much as I could in order to help with the raising the standard thing. By far the most important lesson I have learnt this year is that that other guy, Satan, the devil, the force of evil, or whatever else you want to call it..exists and he loves to play games! I personally choose to call him the devil, and so that is what I am going to refer to him as for the duration of these posts. 

I'm not going to preach here, you may see the odd scripture in this series, but even if you are not of a religious background, you know that evil exists. That age-old battle between good and evil is everywhere. Films, games, books, name it, it's there.  In the next few posts, I am going to unpack some of the more subtle tools that the devil likes to use. 

When it comes to raising the standard, if you don't know what is causing your standards to be so low, to begin with, then your never going to have a shot at raising the bar on your life. 

This one is about personal growth. 

In the next few posts, I will share what I have learnt about each of the tools I talk about and give credit to those that have taught me those things but also share some pearls of wisdom that have come purely from life experience. 

They say that the best way to learn something is to teach it and so I'm going to put myself out there a bit and actually set this whole series up as teaching. One of the things in the raise the standard new years' resolution was to build confidence and try new here goes. I'm not even sure I can do this but I will give it a shot.

The first teaching will start on a slightly lighter subject, but something that still needs to be addressed if you are serious about personal growth. Acceptance. 

Tuesday, July 16

Fresh Start & Updates!

Firstly, I apologize  for the lack of communication about what has been happening with my blogs. I have been without a stable internet connection for quite some time and so I've been unable to update my blogs. However, should I have problems with my internet in the future, I've found a way around it so I can continue to post regularly. 

Secondly if you have been following me for a while you will know that I've had some issues with sorting out my blogs. I had posts up that were both lacking in grace and far too personal and honestly, I just feel my previous blogs were training ground, I know that I will still be learning but I think I've pretty much found my feet in knowing where my boundaries are, what I will and will not write about and how much I share of my personal life online. 

Finally I am not going to make a habit of posting the exact same piece of writing on all three blogs, but I feel I owe you all an explanation as to what you can expect to see on my blogs and why I have three, rather then keeping all my posts on one page. 

So to start this explanation, the reason I have three blogs is because of the subject matter. 

Beauty From Beneath the Scars deals with some really heavy topics, mostly about pain and encouragement to keep moving forward because there is always, always hope. I am extremely careful with triggers and the first course of action I will always recommend for any given problem is get professional help, but at the same time, sometimes the first step to gaining the confidence to get help is by helping yourself. If your hurting, I hope that reading about the lessons I've learnt from my recovery journey, will inspire you to start your own.

This will be my most regular blog, you can expect to see a new post every Thursday. 

Pandas and Pens, is my writing, any piece of creative writing I hold the copyright to, be in poetry, stories or songs or any other creative project. Also if I have a tips in relation to writing any of the above or the world of writing in general, this is where I would post them.

I'm taking an "as and when" type approach to this blog. If I have something new to share then I will post it. I have no set pattern for this blog at present, the only aim I've set for myself is to get at-least one or two new posts on this blog every month. 

Ducks Say Rarr Now, aims to make you think. I'm not afraid to write about controversial subjects or delve into the world of theories in order to find  the facts. I realize that sometimes, what I have to say may offend, but you can be sure I will always treat every subject matter with a very delicate approach. I will never ever discriminate, regardless of my personal views, in fact if the subject matter is too sensitive I may choose to reserve the right not to share my personal views simply to keep the peace.

This blog will consist mainly of series on a subject matter. During the time I am on a certain series, I will try to keep the posts pretty regular, most likely once a week, but  I have no set pattern for this blog and there may be weeks between series. I value quality over quantity and so research is really important element that I won't rush before posting. I want to write something worth reading, sometimes that takes time. 

I hope that clears things up a bit, if you do want to be kept up to date with new posts, feel free to follow me here Google+, Tumblr or Twitter. Alternatively I've made it possible for you to follow me by e-mail even anonymously if you would prefer. 

Twitter link @pandasandpens  ( Hayley Young) 

Until the next time take it easy! 

Love Hayley 


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