Wednesday, February 13

The Complete Guide To Long Distance Love For Creative Souls

Long post click here for pdf version if you prefer and please donate what you think is fair if this helps you at all. Affiliate links included clearly marked by #affiliate before the link. This post is written from expirence, please take advice offered here at your own risk. Thank you. 

Okay yes, it's Valentines day but this post is not just for couples. I have a wealth of knowledge and tips for long distance lovers, and I certainly am going to cover that in this post, but there are many different forms of long distance loves.

One thing noone tells you about being in a long distance relatinoship with your significunt other, is that if it works, you are likely going to be dealing with long distance love for years to come. At some point you, or you honey are likely to move to one of your home-towns, or maybe you will both move to another town together. This in turn will mean that you become long distance with family, friends and possibly even have to deal with having your doctor or other proffesiional service in another town untill you are settled and find a new one.

We are gonna cover all of that here in this post but first let me tell you why I am ever qualified to be talking about this with you now.

In short, long distance love is my reality and has been for the last decade. I met my other half online back in 2012, then in 2015 I moved to his home town, we then breiefly moved to my home town for a few months last year, before settling in his. I am Welsh country girl, and He is very much a Londoner. I know I have an internatinal audience so let me say in terms that make sense to everyone. It takes 4 hours on advrage to get from Victoria Coach Station London, England to Where I'm from near  Cardiff in South Wales. That's .151 miles and two very difference countries. A lot of people think that Wales is part of England, this is not true. Wales is it's own country, and is apart of the United Kingdom.

Now we have that cleared up, shall we get into it?

Ok great, let's begin with some housekeeping and then we will get on with it!

So firstly expect this to be long, if you would prefer to read this and keep it please feel free to download the PDF version of this post, but if you do that please consider donating what you think is fair on paypal to share the love with us, so we can make more great content for you.

Secondly I am going to break this up in to catagories and at the end of each section, there will be a list of resources for each section. There may be the odd affiliate link in these resources, which will be marked by #affiliate before the link, for our full affiliate policy please click here.

Thirdly I am going to assume that if you are reading this you already have found long distance love in some form, therefore I am not going to give tips on finding it, but rather maintaining it and coping with distance.

The Sections I am going to cover

  • Long Distance Matiance Fundimentals 
  • Long Distance Couples 
  • Long Distance Family
  • Long Distiance Friends
  • Long Distance For Work 
  • Long Distiance Loose Threads 











Tuesday, February 12

How To Hope In Uncertain Times & Practical Advice To Get Out Of A Rut

Disclaimer: As always this post is written from expirence only. Take my advice at your own risk. I am not a medical/mental health professional. Please seek the apporpiate partitioner if you feel it is needed. 

This post may contain affiliate links.

Ok so  to start this is a rewrite of the very first post I wrote way back in 2006. To give you some background before we get started, I call the dude behind the dark/evil force in this world the devil for the purpose of this post.This is NOT a faith-based post, but it's webuwery and so this month we are looking to expose the daker side of things to help you deal with your joy blockers so you can make great art.  Hope you enjoy!

The Devil's Tool Box - The Nails Of Acceptance

 It may seem strange that I'm starting this series by talking about acceptance as a tool used in the devil's tool box but it does have good reason for being the first topic looked at in this teaching. Accepting things in general is not a bad thing, in fact it is important to accept certain things in order to move forward in personal growth and there are things the devil will try to stop us from accepting. However there are things that if we accept too easily, they will actually stunt our personal growth.


We are going to look at 2 of those things that can cause us to stay stuck by accepting them. In order to explain this, I'm going to start out by looking at it from the view point of the thoughts attached to each of these things, then explain why and how it is dangerous to think this way and how to move from a negative view point to a positive.

What is important to remember is that the devil is a liar and so each of these thoughts is a lie, let's now look at the evidence for that statement, in each of the thoughts we have that keep us nailed where we are in a negative way. 

Lets begin,

Thought that is a Lie 1. Things will never change. - Hopelessness
When things have been the same way for a long time, we often get it stuck in our head that things will never change. This is because it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when your in the middle of it. It is very easy to loose hope and just accept that this is our lot in life and nothing is ever going to change so we may as well accept it and deal with it. 

Why is this dangerous? 
This is a dangerous thing to think because it completely limits your mind in terms of thinking of options to getting out of a situation, this can and usually does lead to worry and depression. Depression is like quick sand, it will just suck you in further and further if you allow it to do so. The result of thinking a situation is hopeless, is despair. As soon as you hit that lower level of despair, it opens the door for the devil to start whispering more lies to you and you are far more likely to believe them. It is a long journey to get out of depression and despair and one that often involves a roller-coaster of emotions that are very hard to deal with alone. 

How can we change this thought in to a positive?
We can change this thought of things will never change into a positive by refusing to believe that this is all life has to offer. The fact is no matter how hopeless a situation may seem, there are always choices even if the only choice you have is to change your attitude towards the situation your in. By choosing to believe that life has more to offer and then committing to do whatever you can in order to make your life better, one small step at a time, you will start to see little changes. 

The best way to get unstuck when your in a rut, (which is basically another way of saying stuck in the mud or stuck going through the motions) is to change something. Even if the something you change is only small, if the routine is really that much of a pain to you, then even a small change will be welcomed. As you start to make small changes you will start empowering yourself to create the life you want, which in turn will help with convincing yourself that the next statement the devil loves to whisper to you to keep you stuck, is also a lie. 


Thought that is a lie 2. I can't do this because _______ - Lack of confidence 
If we believe the lie that nothing will ever change, we often also believe that we will never change. This then gives way for this second lie to come in to play. We magnify all the bad points about ourselves and decide that because of all these negative traits, habits or attributes in us, or any number of external circumstances of factors that somehow we are not going to be able to cope with the situation. The truth is, under it all. Fear has us under thumb. 

Why this is dangerous?
Our natural instinct when it comes to feeling uncomfortable is to avoid the thing making us feel that way and so we stay stuck. Fear keeps us paralyzed and so we wind up over-thinking everything and worrying excessively, which has a negative affect on many areas of our lives including our health. In other-words, staying stuck can cause so much destruction that is can actually put your life at risk. 

How can we turn this in to a positive? 
In my own life, I can honestly say the only way to deal with fear is to face it. I am sure you have heard that before. It is a tried and tested fact that works in a hole host of situations. The best thing to do when it comes to dealing with fear is to educate yourself and then face it. When you educate yourself on something you don't understand or are afraid of it can make you feel more confident to actually face the fear. Sometimes educating yourself is enough, but that is very rare. 

 An amazing, life changing book I would recommend if you are wanting to learn how to deal with fear is Feel the Fear and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers. 

There are plenty of resources out there, you need only do your research, however no amount of research is going to compensate for the freedom that can only come through facing your fear.  Of-course there are things that you don't have face if you don't want to, not all fear is bad and not all fears need to be addressed immediately. The question to ask when deciding if this certain fear needs to be addressed is simply how is this fear affecting my life? If it is affecting you in a negative way and you could actually say that the fear in one way or another is controlling your life or how you feel about yourself then it is probably best to face it and sort it out. 

Disclaimer- Don't be stupid, use your head, don't break the law to face a fear and always remember to stay safe. Remember that professional help is available if your dealing with an irrational fear that controls you and it never makes you weak to get help if you need it.

There is a positive side to acceptance that can actually help with moving forward and the devil will do everything to keep you from accepting 5 simple truths because he knows that if you accept them, you will empower yourself to move forward. If you don't accept these  simple truths, you will be equally as stuck as you will be by accepting the negative thoughts already explained. 

5 Truths that we need to accept in order to move forward in life 

1. I may not like where I am now, but I don't have to stay stuck, things can change.
2. I am responsible for my own happiness. Even if I don't have control over my situation, I can still have control over how I react to it. 
3. I am worthy of good things to happen to me. 
4. I don't have to do/face this alone. 
5. My attitude has a direct affect on my result. 

Recap 
  •  The two thoughts that the devil likes to get us to accept in order to keep us from moving forward in life are Things will never change and  that you can't do this. 
  • Both of these are not true because it down to choice. Even if the only thing you have control over is your attitude towards a situation. The devil is a liar. 
  • By making small changes, you will start to gain the confidence you need to believe that you can do anything you need to do and begin to see that you don't have to stay stuck. 

Resources For Further Study 
I remind you that some of these links may be affiliate links. 





How To Hope In Uncertain Times & Practical Advice To Get Out Of A Rut

Disclaimer: As always this post is written from expirence only. Take my advice at your own risk. I am not a medical/mental health professional. Please seek the apporpiate partitioner if you feel it is needed. 

This post may contain affiliate links.

Ok so  to start this is a rewrite of the very first post I wrote way back in 2006. To give you some background before we get started, I call the dude behind the dark/evil force in this world the devil for the purpose of this post.This is NOT a faith-based post, but it's webuwery and so this month we are looking to expose the daker side of things to help you deal with your joy blockers so you can make great art.  Hope you enjoy!

The Devil's Tool Box - The Nails Of Acceptance

 It may seem strange that I'm starting this series by talking about acceptance as a tool used in the devil's tool box but it does have good reason for being the first topic looked at in this teaching. Accepting things in general is not a bad thing, in fact it is important to accept certain things in order to move forward in personal growth and there are things the devil will try to stop us from accepting. However there are things that if we accept too easily, they will actually stunt our personal growth.


We are going to look at 2 of those things that can cause us to stay stuck by accepting them. In order to explain this, I'm going to start out by looking at it from the view point of the thoughts attached to each of these things, then explain why and how it is dangerous to think this way and how to move from a negative view point to a positive.

What is important to remember is that the devil is a liar and so each of these thoughts is a lie, let's now look at the evidence for that statement, in each of the thoughts we have that keep us nailed where we are in a negative way. 

Lets begin,

Thought that is a Lie 1. Things will never change. - Hopelessness
When things have been the same way for a long time, we often get it stuck in our head that things will never change. This is because it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when your in the middle of it. It is very easy to loose hope and just accept that this is our lot in life and nothing is ever going to change so we may as well accept it and deal with it. 

Why is this dangerous? 
This is a dangerous thing to think because it completely limits your mind in terms of thinking of options to getting out of a situation, this can and usually does lead to worry and depression. Depression is like quick sand, it will just suck you in further and further if you allow it to do so. The result of thinking a situation is hopeless, is despair. As soon as you hit that lower level of despair, it opens the door for the devil to start whispering more lies to you and you are far more likely to believe them. It is a long journey to get out of depression and despair and one that often involves a roller-coaster of emotions that are very hard to deal with alone. 

How can we change this thought in to a positive?
We can change this thought of things will never change into a positive by refusing to believe that this is all life has to offer. The fact is no matter how hopeless a situation may seem, there are always choices even if the only choice you have is to change your attitude towards the situation your in. By choosing to believe that life has more to offer and then committing to do whatever you can in order to make your life better, one small step at a time, you will start to see little changes. 

The best way to get unstuck when your in a rut, (which is basically another way of saying stuck in the mud or stuck going through the motions) is to change something. Even if the something you change is only small, if the routine is really that much of a pain to you, then even a small change will be welcomed. As you start to make small changes you will start empowering yourself to create the life you want, which in turn will help with convincing yourself that the next statement the devil loves to whisper to you to keep you stuck, is also a lie. 


Thought that is a lie 2. I can't do this because _______ - Lack of confidence 
If we believe the lie that nothing will ever change, we often also believe that we will never change. This then gives way for this second lie to come in to play. We magnify all the bad points about ourselves and decide that because of all these negative traits, habits or attributes in us, or any number of external circumstances of factors that somehow we are not going to be able to cope with the situation. The truth is, under it all. Fear has us under thumb. 

Why this is dangerous?
Our natural instinct when it comes to feeling uncomfortable is to avoid the thing making us feel that way and so we stay stuck. Fear keeps us paralyzed and so we wind up over-thinking everything and worrying excessively, which has a negative affect on many areas of our lives including our health. In other-words, staying stuck can cause so much destruction that is can actually put your life at risk. 

How can we turn this in to a positive? 
In my own life, I can honestly say the only way to deal with fear is to face it. I am sure you have heard that before. It is a tried and tested fact that works in a hole host of situations. The best thing to do when it comes to dealing with fear is to educate yourself and then face it. When you educate yourself on something you don't understand or are afraid of it can make you feel more confident to actually face the fear. Sometimes educating yourself is enough, but that is very rare. 

 An amazing, life changing book I would recommend if you are wanting to learn how to deal with fear is Feel the Fear and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers. 

There are plenty of resources out there, you need only do your research, however no amount of research is going to compensate for the freedom that can only come through facing your fear.  Of-course there are things that you don't have face if you don't want to, not all fear is bad and not all fears need to be addressed immediately. The question to ask when deciding if this certain fear needs to be addressed is simply how is this fear affecting my life? If it is affecting you in a negative way and you could actually say that the fear in one way or another is controlling your life or how you feel about yourself then it is probably best to face it and sort it out. 

Disclaimer- Don't be stupid, use your head, don't break the law to face a fear and always remember to stay safe. Remember that professional help is available if your dealing with an irrational fear that controls you and it never makes you weak to get help if you need it.

There is a positive side to acceptance that can actually help with moving forward and the devil will do everything to keep you from accepting 5 simple truths because he knows that if you accept them, you will empower yourself to move forward. If you don't accept these  simple truths, you will be equally as stuck as you will be by accepting the negative thoughts already explained. 

5 Truths that we need to accept in order to move forward in life 

1. I may not like where I am now, but I don't have to stay stuck, things can change.
2. I am responsible for my own happiness. Even if I don't have control over my situation, I can still have control over how I react to it. 
3. I am worthy of good things to happen to me. 
4. I don't have to do/face this alone. 
5. My attitude has a direct affect on my result. 

Recap 
  •  The two thoughts that the devil likes to get us to accept in order to keep us from moving forward in life are Things will never change and  that you can't do this. 
  • Both of these are not true because it down to choice. Even if the only thing you have control over is your attitude towards a situation. The devil is a liar. 
  • By making small changes, you will start to gain the confidence you need to believe that you can do anything you need to do and begin to see that you don't have to stay stuck. 

Resources For Further Study 
I remind you that some of these links may be affiliate links. 





Tuesday, February 5

How To Handle Hard Times In London When You Are Not Fully Settled


Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.


Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 

Amazon Associates Disclosure 

Hayley Esther (Young) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to daisychange.co.uk

I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of a background.

I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.

London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)

What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and irregardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!

This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this,
please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome!


It just took some getting used to for me. I think that  not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.

I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.

Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.

Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.


1.Come Alive To Your New Environment

It rarely looks like this at any central tube station, so you have to learn to move with purpose.


London has so much to offer, and if you know where to look there are some great places to go for free. That said the culture of the city is varied depending on where you go. There are some general things that are pretty much across the board. Discussing the weather is considered polite conversation if you are stuck in awkward silences with people, pretty much everywhere in London. Although, due to the fact that London is so big, it's also the preferred choice for most to just get on with things in silence. 

Learn to be the car, indicate with your arm which direction you are going, with minimal eye contact and walk briskly.
Be vigilant. If get shoved you're unlikely to get an apology, and again keep an eye on your belongs pick pockets are real.
People in London, are used to being around diversity on a large scale, and somewhere in that large scale of personalities, there is bound to be a few jokers,  a wide range of scams do go on here. for this reason, it's important to note that people here are not cold because they want to be. It's just that due to the wide range of personalities here, you don't know what you are getting and so on first impressions the sweetest of gals will appear ice queens, because being nice can cost too much sometimes.

With this in mind, learn to protect yourself.  Qualify people before you let them into your inner circle, and always keep an eye on your belongings if you are out and about. Oh and one more thing, ladies please learn self defence, not that you will need it, but it's better safe than sorry. Finally to any Christians reading this, don't share your faith in the centre of London, it paints the biggest target of nonsense on you, and it's not savvy. Think parable of the sower. Be wise.


OK now we have got the harsh realities out of the way, now we can talk about the good stuff.

2. Come Alive To Home Comforts

Home wouldn't be home, without my duckies!
This is just a small thing to help remind me of happy times in my home land, for those days when I feel a little home sick. 


Due to the fact London can be a lonely, and somewhat cold place to live, it's really important that you take extra special care of yourself. To do that you should figure out what makes you happy when you are on your own, and lean into it. I personally am a handcrafter. I love making cards, doing project life and making jewelry. I am also a Avon lady, and since joining Avon, I have found that pamper nights testing out products to recommend to my customers, have been invaluable in helping me to brave the day.  It doesn't have to be Avon, but in general taking care of your body will help take care of your mind, soul, spirit and well-being. Also who doesn't love a good movie/box-set binge night with a lovely box of chocolates once in a while? 

My personal favorite treat is Jaffa Cakes or maybe a little popcorn!

I run this site on hot chocolate and jaffa cakes,
 but hot chocolate is also my preferred drink to chill with when I'm not in mood for a cup of tea that is.


These seemingly little things make all the difference, because in order to truly share joy with others you first need to feel it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and prioritise spending time doing that even if only for a couple hours a week, it will make a big difference in your performance to the wider world. If you can't find time for this, you got a bigger problem, you may need to reshuffle your schedule, we have a post about this coming soon. 


3. Come Alive To New Opportunities


You got this, so go do it! 

We already talked about taking up solo hobbies, but there are also so many options for taking up hobbies that could lead to new friends. London is very well connected, and if you lack confidence to go for it like I did when I got here, you can always do a confidence building course. Udemy is excellent for this.


4.Come Alive To Your Little World


The most accurate description I have heard of London in the last few years come from the movie Paddington Bear. In that movie they point out that since London is so diverse you really do have the permission to be #uniquenotunicorn as I would put it, and still feel like you belong here.

I have blue hair, but heart I am a lady and being into both the alternative fashion scene while still being a refined person, works perfectly well here. It didn't back home so much. Figure out what makes you,you and lean into it. Let yourself have a few home comforts that remind you of where you came from, this will help you stay grounded and can really help on those home sick days.

Seriously, without my ducks London wouldn't feel like home!


You get to decide what living in London looks like for you. Create your own little world and this safe place will make it easier to handle things when life gets hard. My world wouldn't be complete with out music, feel free to go check out my play lists over on Spotify.

5.Come Alive To Living For Something Bigger Than Yourself




This is really about thinking of others, which has been proven to help us humans feel fulfilled in life. Figure out what you care about and join your tribe. We are better together, and when you have people around you that genuinely get you and care, it makes so much easier to tackle the to tough stuff.



I would say I belong to several tribes, but the one that I want to highlight right here is actually the blogasphere. Blogging has been a life line for me in tough times and so just to end this post I want to say thank you to my fellow bloggers, your words have been invaluable, and I truly hope that mine can be just as encouraging.

That's about it for today,










How To Handle Hard Times In London When You Are Not Fully Settled


Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.


Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 



I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of background.

I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.

London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)

What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and regardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!

This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this,
please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome!


It just took some getting used to for me. I think that  not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.

I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.

Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.

Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.


Sunday, February 3

How To Handle Hard Times ( In A City Like London)

Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counselor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 

Before I get into this, I need to say that although I have acknowledged the king of this blog, in so much as I have asked permission to do this, I act alone in the following...

The nature of what I am about to share with you, is not something that anyone else should bare the weight of, since this is my decision, based on my own convictions.

I am sorry this sounds so dramatic, but anyone who knew the old me in person will know, drama and Hayley Esther kind of go hand in hand. I admit to this fully, and it is for the purpose of leaning into a language I have taught those that love and support me, to expect from me, that I now choose to make my exist in a dramatic fashion as the writing of this post.

I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

You see the happiest day of my life was and is the day that I died.

For those of you in the UK you may have noticed that the closer we get to Brexit, the more uncertain things seem to be becoming, however even in these uncertain times, let me assure there is still hope.

All you have to do is learn to die.

Let me explain,

Often times, something has to die in order for something else to live. There are births and deaths everyday, these two things are the only certainties in our physical world. We humans like seasons, just think back a few weeks ago, the end of 2018 brought on the beginning of 2019. I'm not going to labor on this point anymore, but I think you get the idea.

The fact is in life, seasons change and so things have to come to an end in order for something to new to begin.

Bottom line is in order for you lead an amazing, abundant, joy filled life, you first have to die to some things that are no good to you.

Now I know this would be the perfect place to share my faith in Jesus Christ, but that's it. This short two sentences, does just that, if you die to the world and come alive to Christ, you will experience joy on a whole other level, message me if you want details, but this post is not about that. ( This is a note for our seasoned followers)

The gospel of Jesus Christ should never be for sale, therefore there are no affiliate links in this post, but if you do want to support us, so we can focus on creating great content for you, please consider either donating or checking out my store. Thank you. Now then let's get on with it.

Before we get into it, I need to first outline 5 things you should die to in order to lead a more joy-filled life. These are general tips, my London specific tips will be up later this week.


1. You Should Die To Perfectionism



This may seem like a obvious one, but honey you are not perfect, and trying to be is only going to frustrate you and deplete your energy. That energy can be spent better else where, and the fact is that irregardless of how close you get to the mark, you will never, ever be 100% pure in every sense of the word. For starters, you can't control the fact you have breathed air that is polluted at some point in your life, not to mention all of the icky feelings you have experienced over time. Emotion is a good thing, and keeping it disciplined is important, this is true, but the fact is you won't succeed with this 100% of the time. For your own sake, let your hair down and just be who you are, not who you are trying to be.


2. You Should Die To People Pleasing


This follows on from the last point and I know it's a hard reality to accept but we can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. Diversity means compromise, and part of that comprise means you have a right to your own mind and voice irregardless of what you are about. You absolutely should be respectful, but if you feel strongly about something you have the right to back up your beliefs with words, and actions...and what's more, most of the time you should because evil only increases when good people do nothing.


3. You Should Die To Happiness

Happiness is fleeting, it is a feeling,but fulfillment goes deeper than that. You won't be happy every second of the day even if you are fulfilled, but you will be happier a lot more of the time, just by consequence of being true to you who you are, and building towards a life build on firm foundations. Building life on any feeling is not stable, but let me remind you at this point, joy is not a feeling.


4. Die To Legalism & Come Alive To Peace


My definition of legalism is anything that seeks to create unrealistic standards with rules and regulations that go beyond the basics of what is needed to maintain the illusion of fairness. This can be in organised religion, but sometimes its not. 

Apply this to your belief structure.

Results may be varied.

Point still stands for those of you I have aimed to communicate this point with. I know my niche on this point, but forget the points and geometric shapes, they are just as restrictive, I'm sticking to flowers!

Life is far more peaceful that way!


5. Die To Grace & Wake Up To Mercy



On the flip side, where are my white nights at?

Let me just make this crystal clear for you, even if your intentions  are the best in the world, in the end, grace won't save you, mercy will. Seek the one who offers mercy and you will find the abundance of security and life they promised you. Those who trade freedom for security wind up with neither, this is a fact, but it is also true those that rely on hyper gracious freedoms will one day wake up to find they were just as trapped as those they mocked for being trapped in legalism.

For us humans, extremes are rarely good. Mercy is for sure the way to go.


I feel like I have pushed about as far as is reasonable in this post and so I am gonna leave it there for now. Expect part two later this week.

Until then,  catch us over on social media.

At the moment, Pintrest is a massive part of our every day life, but we are also on InstagramFacebook. DevientArt  and Twitter. 

Hopefully we will see you over on one of those.




How To Handle Hard Times ( In A City Like London)

Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counselor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 

Before I get into this, I need to say that although I have acknowledged the king of this blog, in so much as I have asked permission to do this, I act alone in the following...

The nature of what I am about to share with you, is not something that anyone else should bare the weight of, since this is my decision, based on my own convictions.

I am sorry this sounds so dramatic, but anyone who knew the old me in person will know, drama and Hayley Esther kind of go hand in hand. I admit to this fully, and it is for the purpose of leaning into a language I have taught those that love and support me, to expect from me, that I now choose to make my exist in a dramatic fashion as the writing of this post.

I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

You see the happiest day of my life was and is the day that I died.

For those of you in the UK you may have noticed that the closer we get to Brexit, the more uncertain things seem to be becoming, however even in these uncertain times, let me assure there is still hope.

All you have to do is learn to die.

Let me explain,

Often times, something has to die in order for something else to live. There are births and deaths everyday, these two things are the only certainties in our physical world. We humans like seasons, just think back a few weeks ago, the end of 2018 brought on the beginning of 2019. I'm not going to labor on this point anymore, but I think you get the idea.

The fact is in life, seasons change and so things have to come to an end in order for something to new to begin.

Bottom line is in order for you lead an amazing, abundant, joy filled life, you first have to die to some things that are no good to you.

Now I know this would be the perfect place to share my faith in Jesus Christ, but that's it. This short two sentences, does just that, if you die to the world and come alive to Christ, you will experience joy on a whole other level, message me if you want details, but this post is not about that. ( This is a note for our seasoned followers)

The gospel of Jesus Christ should never be for sale, therefore there are no affiliate links in this post, but if you do want to support us, so we can focus on creating great content for you, please consider either donating or checking out my store. Thank you. Now then let's get on with it.

Before we get into it, I need to first outline 5 things you should die to in order to lead a more joy-filled life. These are general tips, my London specific tips will be up later this week.


Introducing Alterations - The Art Of Change Mangment

Today guy's I'm just going to jump straight into this. It's been a while since I last put a post out and that's purely jus...

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