How To Handle Hard Times ( In A City Like London)

Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counselor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 

Before I get into this, I need to say that although I have acknowledged the king of this blog, in so much as I have asked permission to do this, I act alone in the following...

The nature of what I am about to share with you, is not something that anyone else should bare the weight of, since this is my decision, based on my own convictions.

I am sorry this sounds so dramatic, but anyone who knew the old me in person will know, drama and Hayley Esther kind of go hand in hand. I admit to this fully, and it is for the purpose of leaning into a language I have taught those that love and support me, to expect from me, that I now choose to make my exist in a dramatic fashion as the writing of this post.

I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

You see the happiest day of my life was and is the day that I died.

For those of you in the UK you may have noticed that the closer we get to Brexit, the more uncertain things seem to be becoming, however even in these uncertain times, let me assure there is still hope.

All you have to do is learn to die.

Let me explain,

Often times, something has to die in order for something else to live. There are births and deaths everyday, these two things are the only certainties in our physical world. We humans like seasons, just think back a few weeks ago, the end of 2018 brought on the beginning of 2019. I'm not going to labor on this point anymore, but I think you get the idea.

The fact is in life, seasons change and so things have to come to an end in order for something to new to begin.

Bottom line is in order for you lead an amazing, abundant, joy filled life, you first have to die to some things that are no good to you.

Now I know this would be the perfect place to share my faith in Jesus Christ, but that's it. This short two sentences, does just that, if you die to the world and come alive to Christ, you will experience joy on a whole other level, message me if you want details, but this post is not about that. ( This is a note for our seasoned followers)

The gospel of Jesus Christ should never be for sale, therefore there are no affiliate links in this post, but if you do want to support us, so we can focus on creating great content for you, please consider either donating or checking out my store. Thank you. Now then let's get on with it.

Before we get into it, I need to first outline 5 things you should die to in order to lead a more joy-filled life. These are general tips, my London specific tips will be up later this week.

1. You Should Die To Perfectionism

This may seem like a obvious one, but honey you are not perfect, and trying to be is only going to frustrate you and deplete your energy. That energy can be spent better else where, and the fact is that irregardless of how close you get to the mark, you will never, ever be 100% pure in every sense of the word. For starters, you can't control the fact you have breathed air that is polluted at some point in your life, not to mention all of the icky feelings you have experienced over time. Emotion is a good thing, and keeping it disciplined is important, this is true, but the fact is you won't succeed with this 100% of the time. For your own sake, let your hair down and just be who you are, not who you are trying to be.

2. You Should Die To People Pleasing

This follows on from the last point and I know it's a hard reality to accept but we can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. Diversity means compromise, and part of that comprise means you have a right to your own mind and voice irregardless of what you are about. You absolutely should be respectful, but if you feel strongly about something you have the right to back up your beliefs with words, and actions...and what's more, most of the time you should because evil only increases when good people do nothing.

3. You Should Die To Happiness

Happiness is fleeting, it is a feeling,but fulfillment goes deeper than that. You won't be happy every second of the day even if you are fulfilled, but you will be happier a lot more of the time, just by consequence of being true to you who you are, and building towards a life build on firm foundations. Building life on any feeling is not stable, but let me remind you at this point, joy is not a feeling.

4. Die To Legalism & Come Alive To Peace

My definition of legalism is anything that seeks to create unrealistic standards with rules and regulations that go beyond the basics of what is needed to maintain the illusion of fairness. This can be in organised religion, but sometimes its not. 

Apply this to your belief structure.

Results may be varied.

Point still stands for those of you I have aimed to communicate this point with. I know my niche on this point, but forget the points and geometric shapes, they are just as restrictive, I'm sticking to flowers!

Life is far more peaceful that way!

5. Die To Grace & Wake Up To Mercy

On the flip side, where are my white nights at?

Let me just make this crystal clear for you, even if your intentions  are the best in the world, in the end, grace won't save you, mercy will. Seek the one who offers mercy and you will find the abundance of security and life they promised you. Those who trade freedom for security wind up with neither, this is a fact, but it is also true those that rely on hyper gracious freedoms will one day wake up to find they were just as trapped as those they mocked for being trapped in legalism.

For us humans, extremes are rarely good. Mercy is for sure the way to go.

I feel like I have pushed about as far as is reasonable in this post and so I am gonna leave it there for now. Expect part two later this week.

Until then,  catch us over on social media.

At the moment, Pintrest is a massive part of our every day life, but we are also on Instagram, Facebook. DevientArt  and Twitter. 

Hopefully we will see you over on one of those.

What To Expect When You First Move To London

So you've taken the plunge, it's official you are moving to London!

Congratulations you! 

You are about to embark on one heck of a journey!!

Here are a few little tidbits that may help you as you make this move. 

I've broken this post into 3 sections....

How You are likely to feel. 

How You are likely to be treated.

How to quickly adjust, or at least look like you are.

Let's get started.

So how are you likely to feel?

Well to tell you the truth, I would be concerned if you're not on a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster right now. Moving to a new city is a big deal. So much of your life is about to change. It should feel exciting, but it's normal to feel a little (or a lot) nervous.

Those butterflies in your tummy are a good thing when you first get to London, they will keep you sharp and alert. 

You need to be. It's a very fast-paced place, especially in the centre and even more so when travelling. 

It's okay, you will get used to it.

A little later in this series, I have posts about how to transition from the country to the city and lots of tips for London etiquette. For now, though, I'll give you the quick version.

When travelling around move fast, don't use much eye contact on the tube. Keep yourself safe. Stay alert, pickpockets are a thing here. Don't dawdle and above all else, enjoy the experience! 

You only get to know a city for the first time once. 

Enjoy that. 

People don't realise that London can feel like a planet all of its own, especially at first. I'm a country girl so I had the added layer of getting used to city life along with getting know and love this city. I was the definition of a shy small-town girl, if I can learn to thrive in London I am sure you can too. 

So that's the basics of how you are likely to feel now let's look at how others may treat you. 

Right, listen up because this is important. 

Let me let you in on a little secret,

Londoners may feel a little cold and unfeeling, but the truth is many of us are lovely people when you get to know us, we just know the importance of keeping our guard up.

That guard is not likely to come down very easily, we know better than that.  

Don't take it personally if people in London ignore you, (even when they bump into you) or if they seem unfriendly or unwilling to take to you. If you come from a culture that is known for its warmth, then this is likely to be a shock to the system at first. 

Yes I know this city may feel a little overwhelming, and you are a nice person, and all you want is a little help to get from A to B, but you could just as easily be about to steal my bag while I look down at my phone or watch to tell you the time or check the map. 

Most Londoners are not going to take the risk.

You will get the odd nice person who will help you out, but generally speaking, you are best to go speak to someone working at the travel station or visitor centre if you are stuck or confused about travel.

Also if you fall over in London, because of the chance you could be running a scam, most people won't help you up and unfortunately there are those who would take advantage of your situation. Again pickpockets are a thing here. Get up quickly because you don't want to get trampled. Go sit on a bench for a moment to catch your breath if you must, but when you are going to be in central London especially, the best advice is to make sure you are well-prepared for whatever situation could occur before you set out. 

Don't get me wrong, London is a wonderful city but as I have already stated, many Londoners are only cold because they have to be, it can be dangerous here.

With that in mind, if you know a local who can show you around until you are used to the city it can be really useful. 

Word to the wise, select this person carefully and please watch what you say in public. You never know who is listening. 

This whole series is about how to settle here and so we will be covering how to adjust here in much more depth, in later posts for now though it may help you to read some of my other posts about moving to London. 

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Hope this helped