Showing posts with label joy is the love-style. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy is the love-style. Show all posts

How To Do It All (and still be relatively sane)



Self Love For Bloggers



There is a delicate balance as a blogger, between reading or watching things because it's research for our own blog, and watching and reading things just because we enjoy it.


 I am convinced true life balance is a complete illusion.



I have believed perfect work/life balance was a myth for many years work-life/balance requires perfection, this is an unrealistic goal to be chasing. 

None of us is perfect so why chase perfection?


With that in mind, the title of this post claims the content you are reading contains advice on how to juggle life as a blogger. 

It does. 


Trust me I am getting to that, but before I give you my tips for managing blogging and life, I first needed to set the scene just so I can give you what I think is the number one most valuable self-loving thing you can do for yourself as a blogger, and indeed a person.


Don't put so much pressure on yourself,
 take some time every day just for you. 


You can't make your blog as awesome as you want to if you don't have the energy to take care of you. 


Only then will you be on top of your game to take care of your blog or whatever else you need to do.


1. Remember the three C's

  1. Consistency 
  2. Connections
  3. Cut it down!
The 3 Cs of Sane Living



Consistently putting our goals into little tasks will make life a lot less stressful and increase productivity but we were designed for a relationship so there will come a point where we can no longer do things on our own.

How does this apply to bloggers?

We can consistently create all the content we want to, but if we don't network we won't likely have any readers!


1. Building relationships is a beautiful necessity.



If your blog is your business, then I can understand why you feel like you want to do everything yourself I get it, trust me I do. 

It is your blog and you want to make it what you want it to be. That is more than fair enough, but if you reach out to other with different skills, and focus on your own strengths you will make some new friends, create a more professional feel on your blog and be less stressed because you have delegated those things you're not so good at to other people.

2. Mix it up!

Set some time to research how a bunch of different people handle juggling blogging and life, then cherry-pick the tips you like, find what works for you and create your own unique schedule that is perfect for you.

3. Preparation is everything

The one thing that everyone needs to do in order to have a schedule that will be productive is planning ahead. There are many ways to do this. 

Some people schedule their blog posts, others have life management files, others still use calendars, agendas or dairies and then there are those people like me that do all of the above. 

Whatever you decide to use to manage your life, make sure you do plan ahead. 

Knowing you already handled certain things frees up time to do other things and is an excellent stress killer!

4. See yourself as a whole person and plan accordingly.

If you see yourself as just flesh and bones and forget about taking care of yourself emotionally and psychologically then your body will suffer for this.

Make sure before you take on new tasks that you are mentally, emotionally and physically up to the challenge at hand. If not then don't be afraid to say no. 

We've come full circle, it really is super important to take care of you before you worry about all the demands of life.





5. Keep it simple.

You knew this one was coming, this entire blog is about simplicity after all!

 The key thing you need to remember when creating a plan to manage your life is how your plan is serving you. A good management plan should be simple, help you be productive and on task to complete your goals and NOT a burden! 


There is a big difference between being stretched or challenged and feeling overwhelmed or burdened, but that's a whole other post.


Anyway, I need to follow my own advice and look after myself and go eat something so I will leave it there.




Recommendations

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How To Do It All And Still Be Sane

Double Mirror

 



Is it possible to be drunk on shame?

Is it possible to be so lost in consequence, 

You no longer care of fortune and fame?


Picked to bits, but painted and polite.

Lost in the darkness, but shining bright.

How is this even right?


An invisible gag catches all these thoughts,

And I'm scripted for this roll. I'm bought.


I have to remember my training, 

Do only what I'm taught.


No time for free, I'm too busy being me.

I'm a queen of pain, 

Barely sane.


How is this my life?


I'm, a double in a single, it causes so much turmoil and strife. 

Don't even get me started on the rituals and rules! 


I sincerely think the alleged smart man that invented this is a fool! 


A word to those that think themselves wise,

Don't let the light trick your eyes. 


I'm, just about done with all this delusion. 

I've got nothing to loose, so screw the illusion!


The way darkness dies is by dragging it to holy light. 

Yep that's right,

I'm not the person you thought. 

So what!

Tell me someone in this world that is?

So then good bye Mr confusion. 

I've found a much better solution.


Jesus I choose you.

So please, be my next step show me what to do.


Copyright Hayley Esther 30 March 2021



Just ...

Just...




I don't want to write right now, but the boss says I must,

So I gotta make this work somehow.

I honestly don't feel like I'm even here. 

Yet somehow, my heart is full of human things, like doubt, anguish and  fear. 


I look flawless, the camera lies. 

And with every little secret, part of my soul dies. 

I started out so bright. 

Living in the light.

Trying to do all I can to live right.

But the day was a long time ago. 

I'm lost, in limbo in the night. 

At this point, why even fight?


I only hope God really is in the forgiving business. 

But after all I've done and seen, how?


So when you see me smile and act like all is well.

Please know I am living my own personal hell. 

I was blinded by the light. 

It appeared so pure and beautiful, so sparkling white. 

Then the boss introduced me to blue.

Can I please change my shoes? 

This path is not a good fit. 

I feel like I'm drowning, but  breathing, how is this real?


I gave my life to Jesus so long ago.

So God, I cry out from the depths of the darkness of my soul. 

Does sealed, really mean sealed?

Can you take a broken mess like me?

Can I be healed?


Then unexpectedly, I see his smile..

But I know not to trust as first glance. 

Too much unspoken and unhealed. 

So then if you are who you say you are.

Send me a miracle, I need to know I've not fallen too far.



Copyright Hayley Esther 23.3.21



How To Handle Hard Times In London When You Are Not Fully Settled


Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.


Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 



I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of background.

I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.

London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)

What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and regardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!

This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this,
please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome!


It just took some getting used to for me. I think that  not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.

I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.

Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.

Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.


1.Come Alive To Your New Environment

It rarely looks like this at any central tube station, so you have to learn to move with purpose.


London has so much to offer, and if you know where to look there are some great places to go for free. That said the culture of the city is varied depending on where you go. There are some general things that are pretty much across the board. Discussing the weather is considered polite conversation if you are stuck in awkward silences with people, pretty much everywhere in London. Although, due to the fact that London is so big, it's also the preferred choice for most to just get on with things in silence. 

Learn to be the car, indicate with your arm which direction you are going, with minimal eye contact and walk briskly.
Be vigilant. If get shoved you're unlikely to get an apology, and again keep an eye on your belongs pickpockets are real.
People in London, are used to being around diversity on a large scale, and somewhere in that large scale of personalities, there is bound to be a few jokers,  a wide range of scams do go on here. for this reason, it's important to note that people here are not cold because they want to be. It's just that due to the wide range of personalities here, you don't know what you are getting and so on first impressions, the sweetest of gals will appear, ice queens, because being nice can cost too much sometimes.

With this in mind, learn to protect yourself.  Qualify people before you let them into your inner circle, and always keep an eye on your belongings if you are out and about. Oh and one more thing, ladies please learn self-defence, not that you will need it, but it's better safe than sorry. Finally to any Christians reading this, don't share your faith in the centre of London, it paints the biggest target of nonsense on you, and it's not savvy. Think parable of the sower. Be wise.


OK now we have got the harsh realities out of the way, now we can talk about the good stuff.

2. Come Alive To Home Comforts

Home wouldn't be home, without my duckies!
This is just a small thing to help remind me of happy times in my homeland, for those days when I feel a little homesick. 


Due to the fact, London can be a lonely, and somewhat cold place to live, it's really important that you take extra special care of yourself. To do that you should figure out what makes you happy when you are on your own, and lean into it. I personally am a handcrafter. I love making cards, doing project life and making jewellery. I am also an Avon lady, and since joining Avon, I have found that pamper nights testing out products to recommend to my customers, have been invaluable in helping me to brave the day.  It doesn't have to be Avon, but in general taking care of your body will help take care of your mind, soul, spirit and well-being. Also, who doesn't love a good movie/box-set binge night with a lovely box of chocolates once in a while? 

My personal favourite treat is Jaffa Cakes or maybe a little popcorn!

I run this site on hot chocolate and jaffa cakes,
 but hot chocolate is also my preferred drink to chill with when I'm not in the mood for a cup of tea that is.


These seemingly little things make all the difference because in order to truly share the joy with others you first need to feel it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and prioritise spending time doing that even if only for a couple hours a week, it will make a big difference in your performance to the wider world. If you can't find time for this, you got a bigger problem, you may need to reshuffle your schedule, we have a post about this coming soon. 


3. Come Alive To New Opportunities


You got this, so go do it! 

We already talked about taking up solo hobbies, but there are also so many options for taking up hobbies that could lead to new friends. London is very well connected, and if you lack the confidence to go for it like I did when I got here, you can always do a confidence-building course. Udemy is excellent for this.


4. Come Alive To Your Little World


The most accurate description I have heard of London in the last few years come from the movie Paddington Bear. In that movie, they point out that since London is so diverse you really do have the permission to be #uniquenotunicorn as I would put it, and still feel like you belong here.

I have blue hair, but the heart I am a lady and being into both the alternative fashion scene while still being a refined person works perfectly well here. It didn't back home so much. Figure out what makes you, you and lean into it. Let yourself have a few home comforts that remind you of where you came from, this will help you stay grounded and can really help on those homesick days.

Seriously, without my ducks London wouldn't feel like home!


You get to decide what living in London looks like for you. Create your own little world and this safe place will make it easier to handle things when life gets hard. My world wouldn't be complete without music, feel free to go check out my playlists over on Spotify.

5. Come Alive To Living For Something Bigger Than Yourself




This is really about thinking of others, which has been proven to help humans feel fulfilled in life. Figure out what you care about and join your tribe. We are better together, and when you have people around you that genuinely get you and care, it makes so much easier to tackle the to the tough stuff.



I would say I belong to several tribes, but the one that I want to highlight right here is actually the blogasphere. Blogging has been a lifeline for me in tough times and so just to end this post I want to say thankyou to my fellow bloggers, your words have been invaluable, and I truly hope that mine can be just as encouraging.

That's about it for today,










How To Handle Hard Times ( In A City Like London)

Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counselor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 

Before I get into this, I need to say that although I have acknowledged the king of this blog, in so much as I have asked permission to do this, I act alone in the following...

The nature of what I am about to share with you, is not something that anyone else should bare the weight of, since this is my decision, based on my own convictions.

I am sorry this sounds so dramatic, but anyone who knew the old me in person will know, drama and Hayley Esther kind of go hand in hand. I admit to this fully, and it is for the purpose of leaning into a language I have taught those that love and support me, to expect from me, that I now choose to make my exist in a dramatic fashion as the writing of this post.

I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

You see the happiest day of my life was and is the day that I died.

For those of you in the UK you may have noticed that the closer we get to Brexit, the more uncertain things seem to be becoming, however even in these uncertain times, let me assure there is still hope.

All you have to do is learn to die.

Let me explain,

Often times, something has to die in order for something else to live. There are births and deaths everyday, these two things are the only certainties in our physical world. We humans like seasons, just think back a few weeks ago, the end of 2018 brought on the beginning of 2019. I'm not going to labor on this point anymore, but I think you get the idea.

The fact is in life, seasons change and so things have to come to an end in order for something to new to begin.

Bottom line is in order for you lead an amazing, abundant, joy filled life, you first have to die to some things that are no good to you.

Now I know this would be the perfect place to share my faith in Jesus Christ, but that's it. This short two sentences, does just that, if you die to the world and come alive to Christ, you will experience joy on a whole other level, message me if you want details, but this post is not about that. ( This is a note for our seasoned followers)

The gospel of Jesus Christ should never be for sale, therefore there are no affiliate links in this post, but if you do want to support us, so we can focus on creating great content for you, please consider either donating or checking out my store. Thank you. Now then let's get on with it.

Before we get into it, I need to first outline 5 things you should die to in order to lead a more joy-filled life. These are general tips, my London specific tips will be up later this week.


1. You Should Die To Perfectionism



This may seem like a obvious one, but honey you are not perfect, and trying to be is only going to frustrate you and deplete your energy. That energy can be spent better else where, and the fact is that irregardless of how close you get to the mark, you will never, ever be 100% pure in every sense of the word. For starters, you can't control the fact you have breathed air that is polluted at some point in your life, not to mention all of the icky feelings you have experienced over time. Emotion is a good thing, and keeping it disciplined is important, this is true, but the fact is you won't succeed with this 100% of the time. For your own sake, let your hair down and just be who you are, not who you are trying to be.


2. You Should Die To People Pleasing


This follows on from the last point and I know it's a hard reality to accept but we can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. Diversity means compromise, and part of that comprise means you have a right to your own mind and voice irregardless of what you are about. You absolutely should be respectful, but if you feel strongly about something you have the right to back up your beliefs with words, and actions...and what's more, most of the time you should because evil only increases when good people do nothing.


3. You Should Die To Happiness

Happiness is fleeting, it is a feeling,but fulfillment goes deeper than that. You won't be happy every second of the day even if you are fulfilled, but you will be happier a lot more of the time, just by consequence of being true to you who you are, and building towards a life build on firm foundations. Building life on any feeling is not stable, but let me remind you at this point, joy is not a feeling.


4. Die To Legalism & Come Alive To Peace


My definition of legalism is anything that seeks to create unrealistic standards with rules and regulations that go beyond the basics of what is needed to maintain the illusion of fairness. This can be in organised religion, but sometimes its not. 

Apply this to your belief structure.

Results may be varied.

Point still stands for those of you I have aimed to communicate this point with. I know my niche on this point, but forget the points and geometric shapes, they are just as restrictive, I'm sticking to flowers!

Life is far more peaceful that way!


5. Die To Grace & Wake Up To Mercy



On the flip side, where are my white nights at?

Let me just make this crystal clear for you, even if your intentions  are the best in the world, in the end, grace won't save you, mercy will. Seek the one who offers mercy and you will find the abundance of security and life they promised you. Those who trade freedom for security wind up with neither, this is a fact, but it is also true those that rely on hyper gracious freedoms will one day wake up to find they were just as trapped as those they mocked for being trapped in legalism.

For us humans, extremes are rarely good. Mercy is for sure the way to go.


I feel like I have pushed about as far as is reasonable in this post and so I am gonna leave it there for now. Expect part two later this week.

Until then,  catch us over on social media.

At the moment, Pintrest is a massive part of our every day life, but we are also on InstagramFacebook. DevientArt  and Twitter. 

Hopefully we will see you over on one of those.




How To Handle Hard Times In London When You Are Not Fully Settled


Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.


Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 



I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of background.

I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.

London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)

What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and regardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!

This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this,
please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome!


It just took some getting used to for me. I think that  not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.

I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.

Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.

Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.


1.Come Alive To Your New Environment

It rarely looks like this at any central tube station, so you have to learn to move with purpose.


London has so much to offer, and if you know where to look there are some great places to go for free. That said the culture of the city is varied depending on where you go. There are some general things that are pretty much across the board. Discussing the weather is considered polite conversation if you are stuck in awkward silences with people, pretty much everywhere in London. Although, due to the fact that London is so big, it's also the preferred choice for most to just get on with things in silence. 

Learn to be the car, indicate with your arm which direction you are going, with minimal eye contact and walk briskly.
Be vigilant. If get shoved you're unlikely to get an apology, and again keep an eye on your belongs pickpockets are real.
People in London, are used to being around diversity on a large scale, and somewhere in that large scale of personalities, there is bound to be a few jokers,  a wide range of scams do go on here. for this reason, it's important to note that people here are not cold because they want to be. It's just that due to the wide range of personalities here, you don't know what you are getting and so on first impressions, the sweetest of gals will appear, ice queens, because being nice can cost too much sometimes.

With this in mind, learn to protect yourself.  Qualify people before you let them into your inner circle, and always keep an eye on your belongings if you are out and about. Oh and one more thing, ladies please learn self-defence, not that you will need it, but it's better safe than sorry. Finally to any Christians reading this, don't share your faith in the centre of London, it paints the biggest target of nonsense on you, and it's not savvy. Think parable of the sower. Be wise.


OK now we have got the harsh realities out of the way, now we can talk about the good stuff.

2. Come Alive To Home Comforts

Home wouldn't be home, without my duckies!
This is just a small thing to help remind me of happy times in my homeland, for those days when I feel a little homesick. 


Due to the fact, London can be a lonely, and somewhat cold place to live, it's really important that you take extra special care of yourself. To do that you should figure out what makes you happy when you are on your own, and lean into it. I personally am a handcrafter. I love making cards, doing project life and making jewellery. I am also an Avon lady, and since joining Avon, I have found that pamper nights testing out products to recommend to my customers, have been invaluable in helping me to brave the day.  It doesn't have to be Avon, but in general taking care of your body will help take care of your mind, soul, spirit and well-being. Also, who doesn't love a good movie/box-set binge night with a lovely box of chocolates once in a while? 

My personal favourite treat is Jaffa Cakes or maybe a little popcorn!

I run this site on hot chocolate and jaffa cakes,
 but hot chocolate is also my preferred drink to chill with when I'm not in the mood for a cup of tea that is.


These seemingly little things make all the difference because in order to truly share the joy with others you first need to feel it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and prioritise spending time doing that even if only for a couple hours a week, it will make a big difference in your performance to the wider world. If you can't find time for this, you got a bigger problem, you may need to reshuffle your schedule, we have a post about this coming soon. 


3. Come Alive To New Opportunities


You got this, so go do it! 

We already talked about taking up solo hobbies, but there are also so many options for taking up hobbies that could lead to new friends. London is very well connected, and if you lack the confidence to go for it like I did when I got here, you can always do a confidence-building course. Udemy is excellent for this.


4. Come Alive To Your Little World


The most accurate description I have heard of London in the last few years come from the movie Paddington Bear. In that movie, they point out that since London is so diverse you really do have the permission to be #uniquenotunicorn as I would put it, and still feel like you belong here.

I have blue hair, but the heart I am a lady and being into both the alternative fashion scene while still being a refined person works perfectly well here. It didn't back home so much. Figure out what makes you, you and lean into it. Let yourself have a few home comforts that remind you of where you came from, this will help you stay grounded and can really help on those homesick days.

Seriously, without my ducks London wouldn't feel like home!


You get to decide what living in London looks like for you. Create your own little world and this safe place will make it easier to handle things when life gets hard. My world wouldn't be complete without music, feel free to go check out my playlists over on Spotify.

5. Come Alive To Living For Something Bigger Than Yourself




This is really about thinking of others, which has been proven to help humans feel fulfilled in life. Figure out what you care about and join your tribe. We are better together, and when you have people around you that genuinely get you and care, it makes so much easier to tackle the to the tough stuff.



I would say I belong to several tribes, but the one that I want to highlight right here is actually the blogasphere. Blogging has been a lifeline for me in tough times and so just to end this post I want to say thankyou to my fellow bloggers, your words have been invaluable, and I truly hope that mine can be just as encouraging.

That's about it for today,