Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.
Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk.
I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of background.
I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.
London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)
What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and regardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.
Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!
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| This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this, please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome! |
It just took some getting used to for me. I think that not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.
I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.
Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.
Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.
1.Come Alive To Your New Environment
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| It rarely looks like this at any central tube station, so you have to learn to move with purpose. |
London has so much to offer, and if you know where to look there are some great places to go for free. That said the culture of the city is varied depending on where you go. There are some general things that are pretty much across the board. Discussing the weather is considered polite conversation if you are stuck in awkward silences with people, pretty much everywhere in London. Although, due to the fact that London is so big, it's also the preferred choice for most to just get on with things in silence.
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| Learn to be the car, indicate with your arm which direction you are going, with minimal eye contact and walk briskly. Be vigilant. If get shoved you're unlikely to get an apology, and again keep an eye on your belongs pickpockets are real. |
People in London, are used to being around diversity on a large scale, and somewhere in that large scale of personalities, there is bound to be a few jokers, a wide range of scams do go on here. for this reason, it's important to note that people here are not cold because they want to be. It's just that due to the wide range of personalities here, you don't know what you are getting and so on first impressions, the sweetest of gals will appear, ice queens, because being nice can cost too much sometimes.
With this in mind, learn to protect yourself. Qualify people before you let them into your inner circle, and always keep an eye on your belongings if you are out and about. Oh and one more thing, ladies please learn self-defence, not that you will need it, but it's better safe than sorry. Finally to any Christians reading this, don't share your faith in the centre of London, it paints the biggest target of nonsense on you, and it's not savvy. Think parable of the sower. Be wise.
OK now we have got the harsh realities out of the way, now we can talk about the good stuff.
2. Come Alive To Home Comforts
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| Home wouldn't be home, without my duckies! This is just a small thing to help remind me of happy times in my homeland, for those days when I feel a little homesick. |
Due to the fact, London can be a lonely, and somewhat cold place to live, it's really important that you take extra special care of yourself. To do that you should figure out what makes you happy when you are on your own, and lean into it. I personally am a handcrafter. I love making cards, doing project life and making jewellery. I am also an Avon lady, and since joining Avon, I have found that pamper nights testing out products to recommend to my customers, have been invaluable in helping me to brave the day. It doesn't have to be Avon, but in general taking care of your body will help take care of your mind, soul, spirit and well-being. Also, who doesn't love a good movie/box-set binge night with a lovely box of chocolates once in a while?
My personal favourite treat is Jaffa Cakes or maybe a little popcorn!
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| I run this site on hot chocolate and jaffa cakes, but hot chocolate is also my preferred drink to chill with when I'm not in the mood for a cup of tea that is. |
These seemingly little things make all the difference because in order to truly share the joy with others you first need to feel it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and prioritise spending time doing that even if only for a couple hours a week, it will make a big difference in your performance to the wider world. If you can't find time for this, you got a bigger problem, you may need to reshuffle your schedule, we have a post about this coming soon.
3. Come Alive To New Opportunities
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| You got this, so go do it! |
We already talked about taking up solo hobbies, but there are also so many options for taking up hobbies that could lead to new friends. London is very well connected, and if you lack the confidence to go for it like I did when I got here, you can always do a confidence-building course. Udemy is excellent for this.
4. Come Alive To Your Little World
The most accurate description I have heard of London in the last few years come from the movie Paddington Bear. In that movie, they point out that since London is so diverse you really do have the permission to be #uniquenotunicorn as I would put it, and still feel like you belong here.
I have blue hair, but the heart I am a lady and being into both the alternative fashion scene while still being a refined person works perfectly well here. It didn't back home so much. Figure out what makes you, you and lean into it. Let yourself have a few home comforts that remind you of where you came from, this will help you stay grounded and can really help on those homesick days.
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| Seriously, without my ducks London wouldn't feel like home! |
You get to decide what living in London looks like for you. Create your own little world and this safe place will make it easier to handle things when life gets hard. My world wouldn't be complete without music, feel free to go check out my playlists over on Spotify.
5. Come Alive To Living For Something Bigger Than Yourself
This is really about thinking of others, which has been proven to help humans feel fulfilled in life. Figure out what you care about and join your tribe. We are better together, and when you have people around you that genuinely get you and care, it makes so much easier to tackle the to the tough stuff.
I would say I belong to several tribes, but the one that I want to highlight right here is actually the blogasphere. Blogging has been a lifeline for me in tough times and so just to end this post I want to say thankyou to my fellow bloggers, your words have been invaluable, and I truly hope that mine can be just as encouraging.
That's about it for today,
