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Monday 22 October 2018

When Nothing Is Going Right -Resources For The Desert

It's no secret that for me this year has been pretty darling heart. (this is what we say instead of cussing)

In other words, I have had/am having a tough year. Much of it has been spent in what feels like a desert experience, but while pitching my tent in the desert, I have learned a fair few life lessons and gained some great resources along the way.

The lessons...well they are being compiled into another resource( I may or may not be currently working on an e-book that I'm thinking about releasing) so I won't say too much about that right now, but the resources I've come across are worth sharing, check them out below! 

Oh, one more thing...I use viglink. Check my policies or the sidebar for details.

Ok, got that out the way now I can share zi resources let's go go go!!

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Books 








Blogs & Ministries 


(For Women, but she works with her husband so there are links to things for both men and woman)



Music

Matt Redman - Blessed Be Your Name 


Ginny Owens - If You Want Me To


More Popular Than Christ - Kathleen Carnali 


This may feel like an odd choice, but it's really important when you are in the desert to be aware of what blows in the winds, don't be swayed because of your pain! Jesus knows He care, He is with you and you WILL get through this! 


Everfound - God of The Impossible 




Toby Mac - Unstoppable



I hope these were helpful! (  Oh and quick note we have two posts out tomorrow, watch this space!)



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Monday 9 July 2018

8 Great Christian Songs To Find Peace In The Storm

Hi there, this is our first post, and to get things rolling lets start by getting some peace in our lives. Hope these tracks below inspire and encourage you as much as they do me. Since this is the first post, please note the format as this is how I intend to do things moving forward. We start with a hymn and then move to more contemporary choices as the list goes on. Much Love Hayley xXx 




"I love this old hymn I like to start these lists with a older song because I think it is important to remember where we came from and how praise and worship has changed over time, but the message still needs to be full of reverence to God" - Hayley 

Want to know more about this track? Please check out the wiki link here



If you like this then maybe you will like the album, here is the amazon link (not affiliated) 




Here's a link to Micheal's website, michaelwsmith.com




If you like this maybe it's worth checking out more about Erin here



Here's a link to Casting Crowns Website







"I love this track, it's been really useful in harder parts of the path I am walking with Jesus "
- Hayley









Another version of this song which is simply beautiful can be found here


8 Great Christian Songs To Find Peace In The Storm
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Friday 6 July 2018

How To Truly Be Happy ( You've most likely never heard this before)







Short Version


People that chase happiness will never be happy for very long because it's more about the chase than the object in question.

Not sure you buy that?

Want to know what to do instead??

Keep Reading.

Happiness is an emotion, it comes and goes because life is up and down. Chasing happiness usually leads to unhealthy people with dead dreams and more debt then they know what to do with!



I am not suggesting that the desire to be happy or even the pursuit of happiness is wrong.

What I am against is, the idea that life is all about happiness, that we should be aiming for it in every area of our lives and if we don't somehow that makes us a failure and if we can't hold on to happiness, well then that is even worse!

Happiness is an emotion, it is fleeting, I like to think of it like a butterfly, here one moment, gone the next.

 


Follow me on Insta for more like this.... 


Chasing happiness will never bring fulfilment.

 It will lead to frustration. 

You would be much better of chasing fulfilment. It is possible to be fulfilled but not happy. Chasing fulfilment requires work, sweat, and tears but it is an attainable goal that it is possible to hold on to, unlike happiness.

 Even if you are fulfilled in a job or relationship, you are still going to get your down days, but that deep knowing that what you are chasing is right for you, regardless of how you feel right now, will help you to stick it through the rough patches.

You will make it to the mountaintop.

Yes life still throws stuff at us, but from personal experience I have learnt that I am happy a lot more of the time by living this way because I am doing the things I love and I have no doubt if you started to chase fulfilment too, you would be happy a lot more by default too.


Conclusion

Chasing Happiness is a rabbit hole!

It can be a seemingly bottomless pit.


Working on things that will fulfil you is like building a house on strong foundations. When the storms of life come, you'll still be standing strong even if you're not happy for a little while because you have got your eye on the right target.

Building a fulfiling life, and shooting for a legacy that could even change the world, even if only in a small way.

 It may take some time and require more of you but in the long run, it's far more worth it.


Personal Opinion Incoming! (faith section of this post)


Nothing is more worth building than the kingdom of God.

In future posts, I intend to use my expertise and experience to show you how.

It's not what you think.

I'm not going to preach at you, but if you clicked on a post with the cross then I'm guessing you are a person of faith or at least looking into it.


Authentic faith does not look like
 cookie-cutter Christianity!

I know sheep bite. 

You likely know the generic wisdom of pray and read your bible and go to church 

I know you are looking for something real

A life that is displayed authentically, without the polish and the show real.


I am all about that

Chase fulfilment without God if you like but I personally believe that you need Him in the equation if you truly want to lead a life that matters.

A life that leaves a legacy.

I believe this is achievable through chasing fulfilment through something I like to call simple temple living.

Tune in tomorrow for the next post to learn more about it.









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Sunday 29 April 2018

Update: Taking A Break



Sometimes it is really important to take some time to take care of yourself. I have been preaching this message on this blog for years now, and so it would be incredibly hypocritical of me if I ignore my own advise when I am at a point in life where I need to take a step back and think some things through.

I haven't published a post for a month, and that is not okay, usually there would be tons of back up posts on my laptop, but sometimes life throws us curve balls and to be honest I haven't had time to sit down and write new content in a while.

I am smack bang in the middle of a tough season that leaves me extremely exhausted.

I need to take some time off or my content will suffer for it.

So with this in mind, I will still be about on social media but I have decided to take 3 to 4 months off to regroup and figure out what's next for me and my blogs.

I hope you can understand this.

Take care and see you in September!

Love Hayley.

xXx


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Thursday 4 January 2018

My Tips For Business + Resources (That Totally Work For Blogging)

Dear Readers,

Happy New Year! 

In order to help you make  your year as successful as possible, I have compiled a list of my tips and go to resources to help kick start  your business. This is my new year gift to you. 

You are welcome. 


Before I get started, please feel free to read only the sections that apply to you, although you are very welcome to read the whole thing.

If you have any questions please do get in touch, I'm more than happy to help you if I can.

Okay then, let's get started by getting the longest section out-of-the-way!


1.Preparation Is Everything.



Organisation is very important to ensure that your business runs as smoothly as possible and you don't waste valuable time.That's pretty much a given, but what people don't usually think of is how important it is to have a backup plan. It's really important to spend some time working out what you will do if your business starts to fail.

Do you have some ideas of how you could get your business back on track?

Do you know where you're going? 

Gaining clarity on where you are going is super important and this needs to happen right at the beginning of your business, preferably before launch.

If you fail to do this, you will be setting yourself up for failure.

Also be aware that no matter how amazing your business is, not everyone is going to like you or believe in you, that is completely okay, they are entitled to their opinion, but don't let what people, even people in your close circle, think of you take you off base.

Again this is far less likely to happen if you plan for it. Have some polite but firm statements on your position rehearsed and written down for when you can't just ignore the naysayers ( because maybe the naysayer in question is a family member)

Make your statement, stay polite and focused but if the person questioning you refuses to listen, don't let that get to you. It can be so tempting the early stages of a new blog or business, to give up when people you care about don't share your dream but remember this is your dream, don't expect anyone else to see it the way you do because they won't. ( especially if your dream goes against the grain of what is deemed a proper job these days)

All of this perpetration stage could be covered if you make a business plan, even if your business or blog is not intended for making a profit, it's still a really important step. There are lots of different ways to do this, it's even possible to make a one page business plan, how you do it is not important. It's just really important that you take some time to do a bit of planning. It makes all the difference.




2.Have A Good Key-Chain.





There is not just one key to success in business, there are several but establishing a really strong network is really vital because sometimes the key you are looking for, is a person.

Not only is a good idea to connect with people in your industry, or similar industries via social media, but it is also a good idea to have a look at your friendship circle and see if you know anyone that could help you in a certain area of your business. One of my closest friends is a marketing expert. Another of my close friends is really good at coding ( something I hate) and others still are artists, writers of a different field and fantastic administrators and researchers.

Life is about helping each other and growing, if you think about  blogging, what this looks like is simply leaving genuine comments on other people's blogs. People are far more likely to check out your work if they see you care about what they have to say.

Also be engaged with your audience, if you get comments, tweets etc...make sure you reply.


3.Be True To You



I know I just said that networking is important and it is, but at the same time you need to make sure that you are only networking with people who enrich your life and business.

Once you have established the direction of your blog or business, then you should know what kind of people you want to be connected with, connect with the people who make you happy to have them in your contact list.

Don't feel like you have to talk to everyone because they might possibly be a future customer. Your focus matters but so does your health, convictions and happiness, don't compromise on any of these just to gain a new customer. 

You may gain that customer but you will lose many more that liked the real you and that is just really sad.

You will figure out your focus when you are true to your own heart because this brings out your passion and passion is something that impacts the success of your business greatly.



4.Move With The Times.



Trends change and grow, they evolve and take twists and turns, its important for anyone in business to make sure that they are keeping up with the trends of today so they can create the demand of tomorrow. 

There is no point in blogging about how to use video cassettes because they are now redundant for the most part.

A good way to make sure that your business is current is to see what else your customers are paying attention to and then what kind of content your competition is producing. Amazon comments can be great for this.


 

5.Balance it baby!



Life is not meant to be all work or all play. We need a balance of both in order to feel fulfilled.  I absolutely detest the idea of chasing happiness. I believe in chasing fulfillment instead. A key way of doing that is by living in the moment and enjoying the life you have and the people who are in it, and making sure you take care of yourself too. Yes, building your business is important to you, but if you don't have anyone to share your success with, then what is the point?

Family and friends matter, don't neglect them in pursuit of success. It's not worth it!

Also, the more enriched your life is by things outside of your business, the more you will have the energy to focus on your business.

There will be times when you have to make sacrifices but don't work too hard, burning out is not going to be a good thing for you or your business.

If you don't check out any of my other resource recommendations please do check out this one, it's really important you understand what working too much could do to you.

Please take care.


6.Don't be Beige.


Standing out is the only way to make people take notice of you. Don't be beige it's boring. Beige stays in the comfort box, doesn't take risks and doesn't make a difference. Some of you reading this will only be wanting to make success from your business, but some of you may well be looking to make history.

Did beige ever do that?

No, not unless it counts for being the most boring and depressing colour ever.
Being undecided is just not an option if you want to make it in the business world. Taking risks is just part of the deal. Running a business is hard work,beige would take the short cut, stay in the middle and be satisfied with less than the best.

Don't do that. 

If fear is an issue for you then Susan Jeffers book could be as life changing for you as it was for me.


7.If You Want Customers To Care, Your Customer Care Needs To Be Top Notch



You've heard it before but taking care of your customers should be your number one priority, you wouldn't even have a business without them. Again, this comes into the business integrity issue, but more than that it's about making someone's day and ultimately getting them to keep coming back and tell others about your business and how you gave them such good customer service!

 If you look after them, how can they not come back?

 


8. Be Tigger 



Those of you who know me in real life will know that I am the girl who has been knocked down more times than I can count,but I am also the girl who has gotten up more times than most. You have to.

Tigger never ever stops bouncing, you shouldn't either. 

You can't predict what is going to happen in life but you are responsible for how you react. Get up and keep going, if you have a dream then make it happen, no one else is going to do it for you and you are the right person for the job.

Business, like life is a roller-coaster, and you do have to learn to roll with the punches, but it is worth it in the long run. If being your own boss is the thing you need to do to be fulfilled in life, then get up and make something awesome happen!

Remember any issue you have in business is likely to already have been experienced by someone else and chances are that someone has written a book or uploaded a video on that very topic. Don't be afraid to reach out, it can create great working relationships  and is good for your health, well-being and business.

We are designed to grow, if we stay still too long, we usually wind up falling and looking back. Also, don't neglect your spiritual growth and take some time out just to relax and be at peace. 
Don't think you know it all, stay teachable and keep learning, keep growing and make your business awesome, because you can.

You just need to believe that and get to work.


Over the next few months we will be unpacking these tips once every two weeks.

Why so spaced out?

Because I want you to have ample time to apply each tip. Rushing this will only lead to a crash and I don't  want that for you, so please do take your time to use these tips as starting point to dive in deeper in each subject.

See you next post!

Love Hayley

xXx

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Saturday 4 November 2017

Authentic Faith: How To Maintain a Relationship With God When Life Sucks



I'm not broken, but I am pretty close to it.

This isn't the first time so since I'm in touch with my pain right now, I decided to use it to hopefully help at least one of you.

There's gonna be a fair bit of faith-based content in this one. I'm sure that's obvious by the title but just so you know what you're getting yourself into, I thought it best to warn you.

Let's start with John 10:10 (NLT) The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

Satan exists.

He is the father of lies and one of his favourite tricks is to convince us that he is nothing more than a figment of the imagination.

 He is NOT the opposite of God. He was defeated when Jesus died for us, but since he knows he is going down, Satan's main goal is to take as many people with him, just to spite God. It's not even about us.

Jesus, on the other hand, loves us unconditionally, He seeks to give us an abundant life, make us whole and reunite us with God the father. Salvation is a process, not a destination.

 As I covered the last post, we are unique and as such so is our path in life and in faith.

Hayley_lifestage_repersented_by_lambi_in_wires_Art_By_Alex_Bax_All_Rights_Reserved

Step 1 in maintaining a relationship with God when you are hurting is to be real with yourself about where you are right now in this moment, even if you don't like it.


I once told Jesus, because of the pain of a traumatic event in my life that I loved Him but I was angry with his father. That was fine because God can work with that. Being real about my anger, gave me the ability to keep the conversation between myself and Jesus alive. Jesus doesn't just love us for the good bits of us, He loves the ugly in us too and even that dark side that we all have is no surprise to Him. He died so that we may have life, He is our ultimate hope and it is because of Him that we can have the next thing you need in order to keep that relationship with God alive when you are hurting.

Joy is the answer

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Nehemiah 8:10 And Nehemiah continued, "Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who has nothing prepared? 

This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the LORD is your strength!"

Joy is very precious, it is not an emotion, it goes deeper than that. Joy gives us the ability to smile when inside we feel like crying, it gives us the strength to breath when the best we can do is just get through the day.

Satan wants to steal your hope and joy. Jesus gives us the joy we need to stand when we feel weak. You would be surprised at how many times I have had people say I look really happy, but then they are shocked when I say, that actually I am really hurting right now, it is only the Joy of Jesus that allows me to cope with the pain of my circumstances.



Step 2 in maintaining a relationship with God when life sucks is throwing yourself on Jesus, and allow his Joy to be your strength.

Once you have the strength to get through the day, you will also find that you have enough strength to get your armour on.


Step 3 The armour of God is very important, and you should put yours on every day. Fact is, even if we are on the winning side, we are still in war and every good soldier knows that before you can help someone else you have to first take care of yourself.


Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

How this may look for you (aside from reading the bible and spending a little time each day talking to God) may be different from how it looks for me.

For me, I find it super important to remember that taking care of me, means taking care of all of me, so that means my mind, body, emotions, soul and spirit combined.

  • I listen to music that soothes my soul.
  • I eat something, drink water and get plenty of sleep.
  • I spend a few minutes each morning talking to God.
  • I happen to love baths, so especially when I am hurting I make an extra effort to pamper myself...even if my day is super busy and I can only manage 20 minutes to spare.
  • If I can, I try to play some games or watch something to let me escape the pain for a little bit.
  • Ultimately, I remember that time is a healer, as is Christ and as I work with Him, I will find my healing in time and I rest in the fact that God can use this.

Nothing is ever wasted


There is beauty beneath the scars and just like myrrh, the more I am (unwillingly, I am not a masochist) crushed the sweeter I will let what remains be. It hurts yes, but signing up for the Christian life is not always easy.

Jesus overcame, so can we


When you are going through something painful, as well-meaning as much of what I have written may be, it may not seem like enough. Sofinally, I want to give you the number one key.

Step 4. Remember that Jesus is the good Shepherd and we are His sheep.


Trust the shepherd and rest in His arms, they are more than strong enough to see you through anything.

Healing journeys are often painful, messy and much of may seem unnecessary, but if you choose to rest in the arms of Jesus,

Just like a little lamb in the shepherd's hands, you will in time find healing and your story will be powerful.

Dear friend, you are so very precious to God, His love is unconditional so mater what your world looks like right now, you can find rest for your soul.


Just come to Him.  (Matthew 11:28)

I am more than happy to stand in prayer with you if you message me, or further, explain any of my points.

My desire is to see you shine bright because you can. 

Nothing more, nothing less.

Catch you next time.

I'm taking some time off for the Christmas season in name of needing to take care of myself right now so I will see you next year (unless I manage to get around to a surprise Christmas post that is)

Love Hayley

xXx


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Friday 3 November 2017

Authentic Faith:Sit Down Darling, Sometimes You Don't Need To Stand


I strongly believe that a big part of chasing fulfilment rather than happiness is relating to a higher power. In my case that higher power is God or more accurately Jesus Christ. I am as a friend of mine likes to put it " not a normal Christian but a CHRISTian none the less"  

This is going to be a personal post because this is the best and only way to truly be authentic while writing about this topic. 

Let's get to it! 




October 3rd 2016 marks 25 years since I left my dolls and ran downstairs to ask Jesus in my heart.  I grew up in a Christian family, but my very first steps in faith were taken at just 3 years old.

Since then, I have learned a lot about this whole being a Christian/Walking with God thing. I've thought a lot about what to write about in relation to faith, and the only thing that seems fitting is to make a very clear point about some things that have been on my heart for a long while now.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling - Philippians 2:12 (NLT)

Growing up, this was the verse my mum used most to explain the importance of being responsible for the results of my faith and how I grow. This along with seeking out the origins of all things( and another scriptural advice given by my dad that I will talk about next post), is something that will always be a guiding voice for me.

Working out one's own salvation is a very personal thing. 

While there are foundations to stand on within the faith, I do believe that God created us all different and therefore our individual walk with God will be unique to us.

With that said, the pace of our walk is a very individual thing and if I may, I would like to remind any other believers out there that everyone has the right to walk with God at their own pace. He knows what is best for each person and is incredibly patient with us. 


For people in the struggle of faith stage, the struggle is necessary. Faith that has been shaken, can no longer be shaken. Some of us go to some pretty dark places during our search for God and you know what? That's okay.

God doesn't love us any less because we fall in the gutter once in a while and just because you did something sinful, Jesus is not going to fall off His throne! 

It is a sad reality that well-meaning Christians make other believers feel awful because they are not as far along the narrow path as the culture would have them be.

Sheep bite and spiritual abuse is a very real thing....

....and that right there is what this post is going to be about. 

So to start, let me be clear everything I am about to say is from experience, and wow do I have a lot of it. You see, I am a church-hopper. ( Yes thank you 50% of my readers leaving right now without hearing me out on what I mean by this, on the grounds of this hopefully see you next post)

I've already got a post defending Church-hopping but just quickly, what I mean by this is that I grew up jumping from church to church, (for some very good reasons) and now that getting church is up to me, I still haven't found a church that I can call home, largely because I am still dealing with some very real and painful wounds from my past church experiences.

I almost hesitate to write this post because the last thing I want to do is put someone off Christianity because of the fact that spiritual abuse happens. One thing I have got to make really clear here is that you do NOT have to go to church to be a Christian, and God is all about love, it is just, unfortunately, a  minority of misguided people that make Him look bad at church by hurting others (although I am sure most do it unintentionally)

Getting hurt at church is such a damaging thing. It can cause many people to walk away from God altogether, and many of those that keep their faith even after such hurt, don't go back to church at all.

As I have said already, sheep can bite!

What really doesn't help though, is when someone has been hurt by a church and then other people tell them that walking away is "doing what Satan wants" or that since we know offences will come, they need to be the bigger person and forgive. When someone has made up their mind that leaving a church is best for them, others really should just let them go gracefully. It is between them and God. 

Why is that so hard to understand??

What really tickles me is that in any other area of our lives we wouldn't put up with this. 

If we felt uncomfortable somewhere we would leave, guilt and consequences be damned! 

With church though, we tend to let the guilt sink in and stay in a situation we feel is hurting us, a lot longer than we should and this isn't good for anyone. 

I just want to throw it out there that if you feel uncomfortable or hurt by the way a church and/or its members are treating you, you have the right to leave ....and you should! 

If you are of an age where you need your parents/guardians permission to leave the church, talk it over with them, explain why you want to leave, be respectful and very clear.
It can be a really hard place to be between churches, it is very easy to get branded a church-hopper and you often have to deal with a lot of misunderstandings.

It can be lonely and painful, and guilt can cause us to think we really should be in a church which doesn't help.

What is really important to remember though, is that Jesus has been in the worldliness, He gets it. He can and will heal you if you are willing to work through some things with Him.

You absolutely DO NOT have to forgive until you are ready to, and even then forgiveness does not mean you let people hurt you again, you can set boundaries. 

We are told to guard our hearts. Proverbs 4:23

You may not even want to read your bible for a little while, and that again is okay. 

There are many other ways to grow your faith, and God is able to speak in ways you wouldn't necessarily expect.

When you are hurting, please take extra care of your heart

I know this is controversial but sometime's Jesus can call us aside to heal awhile before moving on to a new church and there is NOTHING wrong with you if you feel the need for this. God still loves you and has a plan for your life, you are not off track, you exactly where you need to be for this season.

Everything happens in God's perfect timing. 

Everything. 


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