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Heart Break Christmas - Managing Emotional Pain in the Holidays

 Trigger warning - sexual abuse, bulimia, depression and Flashbacks.  I will never forget Christmas 2006. I was sixteen and my then boyfriend chose Christmas day to break up with me. It was my first relationship and I was crushed.  Or how about Christmas 2008. When my crazy brain decided to choose Christmas day to remember that I had been sexually abused 3 years earlier.  Finally how about last Christmas, the first without my uncle and with a grandmother that now has Alzheimer's.  The point is I understand emotional pain in the holidays.  I've worn the painted smile for the sake of not ruining Christmas for my loved ones, when inside I felt lost, alone and emotionally drained from carrying something so heavy.  The worse for me was 2008, the pain of realizing that I, miss ' pure princess waiting on Gods best" had lost the most precious thing to me to a rape and sexual assault, was so painful I could barely breath.  My faith took a hit, I chose to c...

Shinemas Day 12

🌟 **Shinemas Day 12 — Light That Reveals and Heals** **Scripture:** > *“But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.”* > — **Ephesians 5:13 (KJV)** Light doesn’t come to shame us. It comes to **heal us**. Sometimes we fear the light because we’re afraid of what it might reveal—our struggles, our fears, our wounds, the parts of ourselves we wish weren’t there. Anxiety often tells us that if everything were fully seen, we would be rejected. But God’s light works differently. When Jesus shines His light on our lives, He does not expose us to condemn us. He reveals things so they can be **touched with grace**, **covered with mercy**, and **restored with love**. What is brought into His light is not pushed away—it is gently healed. Throughout this Shinemas journey so far, you’ve seen that Jesus meets us in darkness, walks with us through shadows, steadies our minds with truth, and speaks tenderly over our identity. Now, ...

Shinemas Day 11

🌟 **Shinemas Day 11 — What God Says About You** **Scripture:** > *“Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.”* > — **Isaiah 43:1 (KJV)** When anxiety is loud, it often speaks in labels. It tells you who you are based on your fears, your struggles, or your hardest days. It may call you weak, behind, broken, or too much. Over time, those voices can feel familiar—even believable. But God speaks differently. He doesn’t define you by your anxiety. He doesn’t identify you by your worst moments. He doesn’t reduce you to your struggles. Instead, He says, *“You are mine.”* Isaiah’s words are deeply personal. God doesn’t speak to a crowd—He speaks to *you*. He calls you by name. He reminds you that you belong, that you are seen, and that you are deeply loved. Belonging changes everything. When you know who you belong to, the lies lose their power. You may still have anxious thoughts, but they no longer get to define your identity. God’s truth stand...

Shinemas Day 10

 ðŸŒŸ **Shinemas Day 10 — Naming the Darkness** **Scripture:** > *“Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.”* > — **Psalm 62:8 (KJV)** There is something freeing about naming what hurts. Anxiety often grows in silence—when we feel pressure to stay strong, to keep going, or to hide what we’re really feeling. But God never asks us to pretend. He invites us to be honest. The psalmist doesn’t say, *“Have it all together before you come to God.”* He says, *“Pour out your heart.”* That includes fear. That includes exhaustion. That includes confusion, sadness, frustration, and unanswered questions. Faith and honesty are not opposites. In fact, honesty is often the doorway to deeper faith. When you name the darkness instead of ignoring it, you bring it into the light where God can meet you with comfort and truth. Jesus already knows what you’re carrying. Naming it doesn’t make you weak—it makes you brave. It says, *“God, I trust You ...

Shinemas Day 9

🌟 Shinemas Day 9 — The Truth That Steadies the Mind** Scripture:  *“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” *John 8:32 (KJV)** Anxiety has a way of distorting truth. It takes small worries and magnifies them. It takes uncertainty and turns it into fear. It whispers lies that sound convincing in quiet moments—especially when you’re tired, overwhelmed, or emotionally vulnerable. But Jesus offers something different. He offers **truth that steadies**, not shames. Truth doesn’t shout at you. Truth doesn’t rush you. Truth gently anchors you when your thoughts feel scattered. Jesus knows that the mind can be a battlefield. He knows how easily fear takes root when we’re exhausted or afraid. That’s why He doesn’t just offer encouragement—He offers **freedom through truth**. Not the truth anxiety tells you, but the truth God speaks over you. Truth says: *You are not failing.* Truth says: *You are not forgotten.* Truth says: *You are not weak for struggling.* Truth ...

Shinemas day 8

🌟 Shinemas Day 8 — Hope for the Weary **Scripture:** > *“He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”* > — **Isaiah 40:29 (KJV)** Weariness doesn’t always come from doing too much. Sometimes it comes from **carrying too much for too long**—unanswered questions, anxious thoughts, emotional pain, or quiet grief that no one else sees. The Bible doesn’t shame weariness. It acknowledges it. God sees the faint, the tired, the emotionally exhausted—and He responds with compassion, not correction. He doesn’t tell the weary to try harder. He promises to **give strength**. When anxiety has worn you down, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. You might feel frustrated with yourself for needing rest again or for still struggling with the same thoughts. But Jesus is not disappointed by your weakness. He meets you there. Hope doesn’t always arrive as a burst of energy or sudden clarity. Sometimes hope is simply the reminder that **you are not alone i...

Shinemas Day 7

Scripture: > *“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”* > — **2 Corinthians 5:7 (KJV)** There are seasons when life feels especially uncertain. You want clarity. You want reassurance. You want to know how things will turn out so your heart can finally rest. Anxiety often grows in these spaces—when the future feels foggy and the next step feels unclear. Faith doesn’t ignore that tension. Faith simply learns how to walk *within* it. Walking by faith doesn’t mean you’re fearless or confident all the time. It means you’re choosing to trust Jesus even when you can’t see far ahead. It means taking the next step while holding His hand, instead of waiting for the fog to lift before moving. Sometimes God doesn’t remove the uncertainty right away—not because He’s withholding, but because He’s teaching us how to rely on His presence instead of our own understanding. When sight fails us, **faith becomes our anchor**. Jesus knows how unsettling the unknown can feel. He doesn’t rush you or shame ...