How I Nearly Became A Me Too Blogger (and why I'm not)

Dear "socially acceptable blogging etiquette"

This isn't working I think we need to break up.

I know you have a lot to offer with your sponsorship's and other opportunities be they financial or otherwise,  but the thing of  it is,  being with you has caused me to lose myself and that is something I'm just not okay with, like at all. Not even a little bit.

Compromising on what I stand for has never been an option for me and yet because I got lost in your ever-climbing stats  and shiny monochrome template, I somehow forget that.

 I forget that I have been brought up to stand away from the crowd even if that does mean standing alone.(if said crowd is going in a direction I don't want for myself)

I've learned a lot about myself during our time together and I have no doubt that there is someone out there perfect for you, but it's just not me.

I know that you like to know in detail why I make the decisions I do, so despite the fact I don't like to pull things apart, I will give you a couple of reasons as for why I want you out of my life.

You drain me. 

Bloggers have to wear so many hats already I don't want to add among other things working myself into the ground to gain a following that quite honestly I don't care about because they are self-interested, and most likely only followed me because they want me to follow back. 

You know what?

 I don't actually care about the numbers. I do care about my readers even if they are small in number.

---

 You stand for everything I hate. 

You know that I've never been the kind of girl to care much for formulas, sure tips to make life easier are great, but generally, I  live by standards that I have vetted and decided are right for me as a person. You stand for making money, which is not a bad thing of its self . 

What is completely wrong though is that making money is your main and sometimes only goal. Readers are nothing more than potential customers and you use them for this goal and then throw them out, unless they are likely to buy from you again.

---

 I  really hate "me too" bloggers!! - The formula of a black and white blog, blogger's picture on the right-hand side, everything uniform everything too professional and the content on said blogs is usually a copy-cat topic about something I couldn't care less about seeing again, aghh!

This just annoys me.

I know I have a simple format too, but I try my hardest to include as much colour as possible.

People that want my loyalty to their work need to produce something unique and interesting, and frankly I'm not interested in seeing the same shallow posts over and over again.

Just No! Please Stop! 

---

You are too controlling and I don't want the pressure blogging is supposed to be fun, and blogs should ooze personality. You pressure people into conformity because the fact is the likelihood of turning a blog into a business (or at least a part of one) without conforming seems nigh on impossible. Or at least you make it seem that way.

This makes absolutely no sense because in the world of business it is called a unique selling point, not a uniform selling point!

You make people feel like they have to be really "professional" in order to be considered worthy of readers, and that is not what blogging was created to be. 

Some people want to blog for fun, and that's okay but you make people like this feel like they are committing some great crime for not wanting to turn their blog into a business of sorts.

Oh and as for new bloggers?

Forget it! You have so many "rules" that new bloggers usually feel really overwhelmed and as a result, a really awesome would-be blogger may not ever get their idea of the ground because they are scared off by your etiquette and unwritten law

You big bully. 

Stop being so damn cold and unfeeling!! 

We all need each other and the little guy might actually have something to say.

---

So there you have it, you are too damn controlling, we have nothing in common and I don't care about what you care about so that is why I'm done with you. 

I will take the lessons you have taught me such as not being so wordy, remembering my grammar and spelling and making sure I share other people's content as well as my own on social media, but I honestly don't think there is anything else you can teach me and I really don't like you so that's it.

I hope you will be very happy with the blogger(s) that decide to conform to your rules and regulations but as for us,

We're done.

Ode To The Ex

Ode To The Ex

Oh you special little snowflake please! 

Do you really think I have time for that?

I'm living life in the fast lane, and nothing you say can change the facts!

I stand for something, so falling for stupid little schemes is just not part of the deal.

You may have had me wrapped around your finger once up on a time,

But nothing you say can draw me back to such an empty life, it's a trap!

There's a way out, I found it, but it cost me all I had.

To turn my back on that would just be super sad.

So let's just not shall we?

Do your thing, but count me out.

I have no need for your secrets, I have enough of my own.

I can't be bought, I'm already owned.

My boss is hidden in plain sight.

I was born to be a light. 

I know your petty enough to take my rejection as an invitation to start a war, but you see I'm on the winning side. 

So bring it on babe, don't you know I don't scare easily.

Don't you dare take that as permission!

I know who I am and I've got my mission.

I'm on level.

You are such a devil!

If love is a battlefield, I'm a captain lost without any hope of rescue,

But I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Don't bother replying. 

You're words are of no validation.

There is nothing you can offer me in all of creation.

So in conclusion,

It's all so very black and white.

I'm flattered by your invite, but here's where we part ways.

It's the best decision I ever made. 

Thanks but no thanks, 

I don't have to blink on this.

Leave now, you won't be missed.

If you stick around you will just became a reluctant witness. 

Even if it costs me my life, I can handle my own business. 

Copyright Hayley Esther 31 . 05. 2021 

Double Mirror

 

Is it possible to be drunk on shame?

Is it possible to be so lost in consequence, 

You no longer care of fortune and fame?

Picked to bits, but painted and polite.

Lost in the darkness, but shining bright.

How is this even right?

An invisible gag catches all these thoughts,

And I'm scripted for this roll. I'm bought.

I have to remember my training, 

Do only what I'm taught.

No time for free, I'm too busy being me.

I'm a queen of pain, 

Barely sane.

How is this my life?

I'm, a double in a single, it causes so much turmoil and strife. 

Don't even get me started on the rituals and rules! 

I sincerely think the alleged smart man that invented this is a fool! 

A word to those that think themselves wise,

Don't let the light trick your eyes. 

I'm, just about done with all this delusion. 

I've got nothing to loose, so screw the illusion!

The way darkness dies is by dragging it to holy light. 

Yep that's right,

I'm not the person you thought. 

So what!

Tell me someone in this world that is?

So then good bye Mr confusion. 

I've found a much better solution.

Jesus I choose you.

So please, be my next step show me what to do.

Copyright Hayley Esther 30 March 2021

Just ...

Just...

I don't want to write right now, but the boss says I must,

So I gotta make this work somehow.

I honestly don't feel like I'm even here. 

Yet somehow, my heart is full of human things, like doubt, anguish and  fear. 

I look flawless, the camera lies. 

And with every little secret, part of my soul dies. 

I started out so bright. 

Living in the light.

Trying to do all I can to live right.

But the day was a long time ago. 

I'm lost, in limbo in the night. 

At this point, why even fight?

I only hope God really is in the forgiving business. 

But after all I've done and seen, how?

So when you see me smile and act like all is well.

Please know I am living my own personal hell. 

I was blinded by the light. 

It appeared so pure and beautiful, so sparkling white. 

Then the boss introduced me to blue.

Can I please change my shoes? 

This path is not a good fit. 

I feel like I'm drowning, but  breathing, how is this real?

I gave my life to Jesus so long ago.

So God, I cry out from the depths of the darkness of my soul. 

Does sealed, really mean sealed?

Can you take a broken mess like me?

Can I be healed?

Then unexpectedly, I see his smile..

But I know not to trust as first glance. 

Too much unspoken and unhealed. 

So then if you are who you say you are.

Send me a miracle, I need to know I've not fallen too far.

Copyright Hayley Esther 23.3.21

Concepts We Build On - Simple Temple Living.

Hey there, thanks so much for coming back, we are so very excited you're giving us a chance to share our heart with you today.

We like to imagine that our blog is a little house that we are building and we don't want this little house to fall down because we didn't take the time to build a solid foundation. That would be tragic, so please bear with us while we get this bit out of the way. 

We have a ton of really great content coming soon, but first, we need to lay some foundations.

So what is simple temple living?

Well, you may have heard of the concept already, but it doesn't really have a name in the wider world just yet, so for the purposes of this blog, we decided to con the term simple temple living

The closest concept that exists to this currently would be mindfulness, but even that leaves a lot to be desired when explaining what simple temple living is. 

Simple temple living is based on the idea that we are created in the image of God and our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. 

( 1 Corinthians 6 )

Even if this faith-based explanation doesn't fit your world view, that's fine because all we are really saying is that we are spirit, that have souls and lives inside a physical body skin-suit. 

We believe that it is very important to take care of these things so that we are able to chase the things that bring us fulfilment and be a more effective, helpful member of society. 

We believe that taking care of yourself is super important so for the first season of this blogs' content that is what we are going to focus on. 

Self-love for Bloggers

Dear Awesome readers,

I strongly believe that we are all three-part beings. 

We are spirits, with souls living in flesh cases called bodies. Your spirit and soul live forever, but your body does not.  This belief guides what I am about to say below, but you don't have to believe this in order to get the point of what I am going to share with you, I've just included my own belief for background purposes.

This is a concept I like to call simple temple living. 
This is based on the idea that we are 

OK, with that said let's jump into today's post.

Let's start by defining what I believe about each element of our three parts. I could be wrong, but this is how I understand things.

The Soul - Designed for connection with others, we are relational beings. It is also the centre of our emotions and if we hurt inside it's usually the soul that feels the pain.

The Spirit - The essence of you, your passions, creativity and desire for something more comes from this part of us. It is designed for connection with a higher power ( God) spiritual things that happen to us are often more real than this earth's reality. We are designed for relationship without a creator because we are created in his image, and this is the part of us that cries out and hears from God.

The Flesh - The car, or whatever transport you want to call it, that gives us movement and the ability to physically feel in this world. The bad side of the flesh wants what it wants, it is selfish and has no interest in a higher power, it hates waiting for things and has many sinful tendencies. 

If we have a relationship with God, this part of us will never ever want to have anything to do with it. If we allow this part of us to take the reigns of our lives and do what it wants, we will always end up in a mess somewhere along the line. 

The good side of the flesh is our body, it's not wrong to look after our bodies, in fact, it's really important that we do. Our bodies are the house for our souls and spirits and the first part of us the outside world will see, therefore it is really important to look after them, not to mention if we don't look after our bodies we will get sick. We know this, I'm not saying anything that you haven't heard before...but where I am in life right now I need the reminder and maybe you do too.

This, in essence, is what I call  Simple Temple Living.

It is possible to have spiritual, soulish and fleshly desires, the three intertwine and can war against each other within us, however, it is possible to get these three parts of you to get along, the next post is going to focus on how to do that.

For now, though, I think that's about it,

Hope you are all having an awesome day!

London It Is Then..Part 2 - A Huge Personal Milestone & Direction Of Daisy Change From Now On.

So the music is blaring over on Spotify. I'm listening to a public playlist I made to help manage stress and anxiety, feel free to check it out here. 

Making a playlist/putting the music on is always ground level zero for me. 

I have at this point perfected a method for change management that starts with the music and works super well for me. I am currently in the process of getting this process written into a format that will work well for my awesome readers. I am so grateful to every single one of you for following me over the last decade, and especially the last few years as this country girl has learnt the wonderful ways of city life, living here in London. 

If you missed part one of this, then basically, I am from Newport, South Wales, I was in a long-distance relationship with a Londoner for 3 years and it was getting to that point where one of you needs to move. I'm also a Christian and so at the time, I wanted to be sure it was God's will to move to London, that I could be useful to His purposes, not just moving for a guy or even my own happiness. 

I do after all believe that chasing fulfilment is far more worthwhile than chasing happiness. So, I laid an extremely obscure fleece before God and He met it so I had to keep my part of the bargain and actually move to London.

Part one covers what and how that happened. 

Today though, I need to record where I am 5 years on because it really has a big impact on the new direction of this blog, and indeed all 3 my blogs for that matter. 

This is a personal post, I doubt that many people will actually read this and well I believe in being extremely careful about what you put online, sometimes you need to throw caution to the eastern wind and just be unapologetically authentic. 

Today is one of those days.

Why?

Well, I have recently just got back from moving the last of my belongings out of my parents' house over in Wales. I am now in the position where London is my home and I need to do whatever it takes to make it work here. I have lived in London for as I said, almost 5 years now, and before that, I was back and forth for 3 years because of my LDR. 

During that time, I have visited my old stomping ground very little, but as I said, I have recently and it turned into what seemed to be a closure trip.

Sure I know I will visit my family and friends over in my home town once in a while, but it doesn't feel like home to me anymore.

London does. 

I have written several posts over the last few months about London life, and since I turned 30 (yes I know I don't look it but the birthday celebration art is on Insta so I am not going to hide my age) I feel differently about the kind of content I want to write. 

When I was younger, I was very happy to be brutally honest about things in my life as a way to explain how to overcome certain things, especially surrounding mental health. My viewpoint was, if my story is useful to the cause of reaching people for Jesus Christ then I didn't care how damaging it was to me. I would tell you literally anything if I thought it could help you see the light of Christ.

These days I am not so open. This is because I have learnt the art of choice. By this I mean, I have learnt how to choose the details that are just open and authentic enough to get my point across, without spilling my heart out, and I have learnt to let people make their own choices about pretty much everything.

You will never catch me forcing my faith or views on you. I may stand for mine and be extremely comfortable with that, but that doesn't mean I have the right to tell you what to think. 

I have learnt that life is not all black and white. There are many shades of blue in between every layer of grey, and nothing can shift a person's worldview unless they choose to do the work to change it.

Wisdom is far more valuable than knowledge and you can't fit a square into a triangle, so it's far kinder to allow people to just be who they say they are and focus on your own life.

With all of this in mind, I have been thinking a lot lately about how I want to proceed in the coming months and years with my writings. 

I started out with a genuine desire to help people and to help make this world a better place. I haven't lost sight of that. 

I used to do it by sharing personal development type posts that focus heavily on mental health and a term I like to call simple temple living ( I am going to redefine this next post)

Again, I haven't lost sight of that. 

One new thing has sort of crept in over the past few years, and I need to show my hand now because I have been playing these cards extremely close to the chest.

Before and indeed over the last 5 years, a lot of well-meaning people have given me advice about navigating life in London. I am super grateful because a lot of it has been super useful. There are however 3 things that I was advised not to do, that I have decided to do with my blog moving forward because of it right for me, I have thought about it and decided this based on what I genuinely believe is best for my readers. 

I was advised to not talk about my faith in London. 

I was advised to not talk about mental health in London.

I was advised to hide my story, where I come from and the fact that I have survived trauma and live with chronic pain. 

I know the people who advised these things were well-meaning and want what is best for me. I am grateful but respectfully...my answer is no.

I won't hide. 

I will be respectful and I will keep healthy boundaries in place, but I feel like I am in a unique position, because I have learnt to handle all of the above in London and I am a woman on a mission to be a beacon of light, hope and joy wherever I go, even when that requires silence. 

As an outsider, I can see the thing that the thing most people in London need most is serenity to handle all the stresses that come with living in the fast lane. 

As a now local I can see that joy really can be our strength and not everyone understands what joy even is. 

When most people think about joy they may think of happy emotion, they mean even think about Marie Kondos amazing books Spark Joy and the life-changing magic of tidying up, but this is such a superficial view of what joy actually is. 

As I said, I come from the country,  but I have also got the sea in my blood, and I think just as deeply as the great blue blanket. That is why I have a side project called Myrrhmaids Treasure Box, coming soon. 

I don't think any highly of myself than I ought, but I am for the most part, a confident woman. I know that surrender is vital for success and I have surrendered to the blueprint. 

This all leads me to announce the new direction of Daisy Change is to reveal what Joy really is, help people from all walks of life learn the art of finding serenity even in the midst of stress, trauma and chaos and finally to help country folk like myself, learn to navigate life in London. 

I believe in leading my example so, in order to do this, I have decided this year to run a spin-off project blog all about anxiety over the holidays and how to navigate Christmas with grace, joy and practise tips to light up your festive season even if things are really tough right now.

I am going to be drawing from my background in business and marketing to bring you some savvy savings tips and help you find ways to make your Christmas special this year.

We are going to do this Hayley Esther style  AKA outside of the Christmas box.

I have playlists, fashion sets, gift guides, memes, crafts and activities for you to check out because it all goes into what it takes to keep calm over the holidays and have a cracking Christmas. 

I also won't be doing this alone, I have been putting the word out to find the very best bloggers, craftspeople and artists to add to my resource list/'collab with because sharing is caring right?

Then after Christmas, I will be implanting this method into this main Daisy Change blog, and relaunching the savvy artist's guide to business. 

Daisy Change has always been about helping savvy artists make the most of life, but now we are branching out to help you with your business as well. 

Oh, and of course Lambi and her friends will be along for the ride.

I do believe exciting times are ahead and given my past it's about damn time!! 

That's about it, for now, guys, I have to get to work on all of the above so I will leave it there today.

Feel free to follow and/or contact me if you want in. 

I would love to have you along for the ride! 

Take it easy and as always,