Daisy Change

Hey guys and girls. I know its been like a year since I have written anything here (though I have been very active on social media) it's been a long time since you have heard from me.  Last year, as you likely know, I was in the mode of writing poetry more so than articles.  I believe its important to go with the flow and not fight the content when you're blogging authentically. I feel like authenticity is something that a lot of people really care about right now which is awesome, because so do I.  So then, in the name of authenticity, I need to be real with you. I have been going through a lot this past year, I've now moved out of London, ended a relationship and I've been setting up my life back home in wondaful, wild, Wales.  Thing is real talk, I could do with some accountability.  See I've been home for almost 6 months and I'm so far from where I want to be .  I turn 33 this month, so I've set myself 33 goals to get done by the end of the month. I don...

Dear life, It's been a while since I have written to you, but honestly you have been teaching me so many lessons in recent years, I thought it was about time I write to you. So then, let's skip the small talk and get straight down to it.  Emotions don't get to speak when my morals have already spoken. I am a woman of my word.  I will stand by that for the rest of my life.   I'm honestly not impressed with the narratives and choices you have presented me with about what my life is suppose to be and how things really work... or maybe I am.  You will never know, because I was right before, giving up my voice was the best choice I ever made, I was so right it is much better than having it stolen. Should have stuck to my guns. Lesson learnt. Also thanks again for reminding me why I spent so many years guarding my heart. I know in recent months I forgot certain important truths but right on cue, you gave me lemons and woke me up. I was...

Hey guys, I've given this a lot of thought and I know I said in my last post I would likely be back here regularly in September, but to be completely honest I've been working on a top secret month long project and I feel like my focus really should be on that project.  I've never been a huge fan of Halloween, in fact as a teenager I would actively  dress in "normal clothes" on Halloween  because that was my protest.  (I was a goth the rest of the year) With that said, October is a very special month for me and this one more so than most because ten years ago in October I made a life altering decision that I think I'm ready to break my silence on.. For a lack of a better way of putting it, it's time to come out of the broom closet. (It's not what it sounds like you will see) You see I'm pretty set on the direction of this blog, and indeed the direction of all my projects connected to it.  The one thing I have to do before I can pull the trigger and ...

Hey guys, its been a hot minute since I've even been myself in person, let alone online! 😒 I know that isn't really something one is suppose to admit but alas turns out I really don't care about how I am perceived. 😎 I am what I am, but always in Gods plan.  Anyway, I don't know about you, but I'm so done being depressed and pandering to the whims of this pandemic the world is facing right now.  You may think I'm talking about Covid..  Nope.  I'm talking about the pink elephant in the room over there eating peanut cookies. (and Lambi's Jaffacakes, she isn't amused.) I'm talking about the pandemic of the pain of being stuck on stuck.  That is what it is, none of us can change what has happened. We just have to move forward now, but that's hard when we are so unsure if things are going to ever get back to normal.  We all know that alot of pain in a lot of difference areas has been experienced by people all over the world.  The big t...

Dear "socially acceptable blogging etiquette" This isn't working I think we need to break up. I know you have a lot to offer with your sponsorship's and other opportunities be they financial or otherwise,  but the thing of  it is,  being with you has caused me to lose myself and that is something I'm just not okay with, like at all. Not even a little bit. Compromising on what I stand for has never been an option for me and yet because I got lost in your ever-climbing stats  and shiny monochrome template, I somehow forget that .  I forget that I have been brought up to stand away from the crowd even if that does mean standing alone.(if said crowd is going in a direction I don't want for myself) I've learned a lot about myself during our time together and I have no doubt that there is someone out there perfect for you, but it's just not me. I know that you like to know in detail why I make the decisions I do, so despite the fact I don't like to pull ...

 Straight off the bat, I expect to be misunderstood here and that is fine, if you get triggered by this good. That tells me I hit a nerve and maybe at some point when you are ready, it will make you think about your own eternal state.  As for mine? Well... If you had asked me at any point before 2018, I would have told you I will be a Christian until my dying day, now though I'm not sure that's true. You see, I have this really pesky problem that has been a driving force since I was small.  Ready to hear it? I am now, and always will be in love with the real Jesus, and I'm not sure I see much of what He is about in what we call Modern Christianity.  I've never really been one to care more for religion, although I can respect it, but I have always been a woman of faith.  The thing is though, and this has taken a lot for me to come to terms with. I do also have a serious love for all things occult.  There, if my tittle didn't cause the first run of well meani...

  Potent Poetry This post has been a long time coming, only I didn't know it. I'm a woman of faith, its time to show it. Sure I could do more actions to back words I have preached my whole life, But the truth is, following Jesus shouldn't cut like a knife. I know this is highly odd and out of the blue, but old actions don't make the world new.  A journey that has literally been thorns and stones.  Still at long last, in my heart I am coming home. I choose you Jesus, no words needed you already paid the price.  Even if it costs me my life, right is right.  I need to be rescued from this dark light. This black, red and white pony show must end tonight. I give you all the glory, and all of the praise. I choose to live for you, for all of my days. So then enough dagger and cloak. Fear shut up, this is no time to croak.. Sometimes faith requires reason take the back seat.  See I'm extremely calculated, but still I choose to live on my knees. All for the sake of ...

Ode To The Ex Oh you special little snowflake please!  Do you really think I have time for that? I'm living life in the fast lane, and nothing you say can change the facts! I stand for something, so falling for stupid little schemes is just not part of the deal. You may have had me wrapped around your finger once up on a time, But nothing you say can draw me back to such an empty life, it's a trap! There's a way out, I found it, but it cost me all I had. To turn my back on that would just be super sad. So let's just not shall we? Do your thing, but count me out. I have no need for your secrets, I have enough of my own. I can't be bought, I'm already owned. My boss is hidden in plain sight. I was born to be a light.  I know your petty enough to take my rejection as an invitation to start a war, but you see I'm on the winning side.  So bring it on babe, don't you know I don't scare easily. Don't you dare take that as permission! I know who I am and...

  Is it possible to be drunk on shame? Is it possible to be so lost in consequence,  You no longer care of fortune and fame? Picked to bits, but painted and polite. Lost in the darkness, but shining bright. How is this even right? An invisible gag catches all these thoughts, And I'm scripted for this roll. I'm bought. I have to remember my training,  Do only what I'm taught. No time for free, I'm too busy being me. I'm a queen of pain,  Barely sane. How is this my life? I'm, a double in a single, it causes so much turmoil and strife.  Don't even get me started on the rituals and rules!  I sincerely think the alleged smart man that invented this is a fool!  A word to those that think themselves wise, Don't let the light trick your eyes.  I'm, just about done with all this delusion.  I've got nothing to loose, so screw the illusion! The way darkness dies is by dragging it to holy light.  Yep that's right, I'm not the person ...

Just... I don't want to write right now, but the boss says I must, So I gotta make this work somehow. I honestly don't feel like I'm even here.  Yet somehow, my heart is full of human things, like doubt, anguish and  fear.  I look flawless, the camera lies.  And with every little secret, part of my soul dies.  I started out so bright.  Living in the light. Trying to do all I can to live right. But the day was a long time ago.  I'm lost, in limbo in the night.  At this point, why even fight? I only hope God really is in the forgiving business.  But after all I've done and seen, how? So when you see me smile and act like all is well. Please know I am living my own personal hell.  I was blinded by the light.  It appeared so pure and beautiful, so sparkling white.  Then the boss introduced me to blue. Can I please change my shoes?  This path is not a good fit.  I feel like I'm drowning, but  breathing, how is this re...