How To Handle Hard Times In London When You Are Not Fully Settled

By    February 04, 2019 //


Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.


Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 



I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of background.

I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.

London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)

What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and regardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!

This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this,
please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome!


It just took some getting used to for me. I think that  not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.

I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.

Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.

Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.


1.Come Alive To Your New Environment

It rarely looks like this at any central tube station, so you have to learn to move with purpose.


London has so much to offer, and if you know where to look there are some great places to go for free. That said the culture of the city is varied depending on where you go. There are some general things that are pretty much across the board. Discussing the weather is considered polite conversation if you are stuck in awkward silences with people, pretty much everywhere in London. Although, due to the fact that London is so big, it's also the preferred choice for most to just get on with things in silence. 

Learn to be the car, indicate with your arm which direction you are going, with minimal eye contact and walk briskly.
Be vigilant. If get shoved you're unlikely to get an apology, and again keep an eye on your belongs pickpockets are real.
People in London, are used to being around diversity on a large scale, and somewhere in that large scale of personalities, there is bound to be a few jokers,  a wide range of scams do go on here. for this reason, it's important to note that people here are not cold because they want to be. It's just that due to the wide range of personalities here, you don't know what you are getting and so on first impressions, the sweetest of gals will appear, ice queens, because being nice can cost too much sometimes.

With this in mind, learn to protect yourself.  Qualify people before you let them into your inner circle, and always keep an eye on your belongings if you are out and about. Oh and one more thing, ladies please learn self-defence, not that you will need it, but it's better safe than sorry. Finally to any Christians reading this, don't share your faith in the centre of London, it paints the biggest target of nonsense on you, and it's not savvy. Think parable of the sower. Be wise.


OK now we have got the harsh realities out of the way, now we can talk about the good stuff.

2. Come Alive To Home Comforts

Home wouldn't be home, without my duckies!
This is just a small thing to help remind me of happy times in my homeland, for those days when I feel a little homesick. 


Due to the fact, London can be a lonely, and somewhat cold place to live, it's really important that you take extra special care of yourself. To do that you should figure out what makes you happy when you are on your own, and lean into it. I personally am a handcrafter. I love making cards, doing project life and making jewellery. I am also an Avon lady, and since joining Avon, I have found that pamper nights testing out products to recommend to my customers, have been invaluable in helping me to brave the day.  It doesn't have to be Avon, but in general taking care of your body will help take care of your mind, soul, spirit and well-being. Also, who doesn't love a good movie/box-set binge night with a lovely box of chocolates once in a while? 

My personal favourite treat is Jaffa Cakes or maybe a little popcorn!

I run this site on hot chocolate and jaffa cakes,
 but hot chocolate is also my preferred drink to chill with when I'm not in the mood for a cup of tea that is.


These seemingly little things make all the difference because in order to truly share the joy with others you first need to feel it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and prioritise spending time doing that even if only for a couple hours a week, it will make a big difference in your performance to the wider world. If you can't find time for this, you got a bigger problem, you may need to reshuffle your schedule, we have a post about this coming soon. 


3. Come Alive To New Opportunities


You got this, so go do it! 

We already talked about taking up solo hobbies, but there are also so many options for taking up hobbies that could lead to new friends. London is very well connected, and if you lack the confidence to go for it like I did when I got here, you can always do a confidence-building course. Udemy is excellent for this.


4. Come Alive To Your Little World


The most accurate description I have heard of London in the last few years come from the movie Paddington Bear. In that movie, they point out that since London is so diverse you really do have the permission to be #uniquenotunicorn as I would put it, and still feel like you belong here.

I have blue hair, but the heart I am a lady and being into both the alternative fashion scene while still being a refined person works perfectly well here. It didn't back home so much. Figure out what makes you, you and lean into it. Let yourself have a few home comforts that remind you of where you came from, this will help you stay grounded and can really help on those homesick days.

Seriously, without my ducks London wouldn't feel like home!


You get to decide what living in London looks like for you. Create your own little world and this safe place will make it easier to handle things when life gets hard. My world wouldn't be complete without music, feel free to go check out my playlists over on Spotify.

5. Come Alive To Living For Something Bigger Than Yourself




This is really about thinking of others, which has been proven to help humans feel fulfilled in life. Figure out what you care about and join your tribe. We are better together, and when you have people around you that genuinely get you and care, it makes so much easier to tackle the to the tough stuff.



I would say I belong to several tribes, but the one that I want to highlight right here is actually the blogasphere. Blogging has been a lifeline for me in tough times and so just to end this post I want to say thankyou to my fellow bloggers, your words have been invaluable, and I truly hope that mine can be just as encouraging.

That's about it for today,










Letters To Life 8 - Let's Talk About The Simple Life.

By    August 23, 2015 //

Okay life, I must have been walking around with a massive blind-spot since starting this site. You know I always reserve the right to grow and change, I think that you become the best version of yourself by learning from others success and failure and your own, and Daisy Change has always been built around the word authenticity. This is old news to you, but you recently taught me a lesson that changes the game of how I see the rest of my life and the overall direction of how I want my blog to go.
There is a massive difference between authenticity, perfection and saying too much. I intend to write a post about this as part of my April series so I won't bore you with the details right now.
Here's the last overly TMI statement to ever be written on Daisy Change ( if I can help it) I long for simplicity but up till this point my life has been overly complicated, and I know I have contributed to this. I am currently sitting a tiny bedroom that is full of clutter and junk. I had a massive shopping binge at the end of my week helping that family member move. After sleeping on an arm-chair, not eating properly and dealing with the challenges of helping an older person move and live with them whilst doing this, I really did feel like I needed to blow off some steam! The new stuff I have is not junk, but I am determined that since I have bought new things that I have to get rid of some old things to make room for them. The problem is, clutter has always been a problem for me. Believe me it runs in my blood and I would love to blame that, but my brother  and certain other family members have worked extra hard to break the trend in their lives and I really want to follow that awesome example. That's the whole reason why I decided to spend a whole month writing about altering your life for the better. I am currently in the middle of simplifying my own life and in order to buck the trend of starting this process, finding something " I forgot I had but love" and spending hours on using said new thing, I have given myself a deadline to get my life simplified by the end of April.
Life we are now over half way through the month and I am beginning to feel the pressure of my own goal. I know I can do it, but I have lost a week working on this and actually in some respects my shopping binge ( which is really not like me) was  a bit of a set back.  I'm a little frustrated, but never the less today is a new day and I will get back on track today. Procrastination doesn't even get a look in, you know how I feel about that life.
Another thing I've been thinking about is writing a simple blog, should be far less wordy. Simple things are usually short and sweet but looking back on my posts they are rather long and in some respects a bit complicated. I don't mind my letters to you being long life, because in reality my letters are only a snip-it of the paths you have me walk but as far as my other posts are concerned, I want to set up a new policy to ensure reading my posts on advantage takes less than 5 minutes at maximum but aim for less than 2 minutes.  I know I worded that weird, but this whole simple thing is really something I am only really learning about.  I guess my blog is authentic in that it records my journey to simplicity as it happens. Then when I reach my goal of simplicity, it will be all about maintaining it and I will be in position to share more of what I have learned. In other-words, Daisy Change is only going to grow, just like a flower.
Anyway, I think that's about it, I'm gonna start tackling the boxes of paper on my desk now.
Catch you later life,
Love Hayley
xXx

Letters To Life 7 - I won't stop on 6

By    July 23, 2015 //
Potential Triggers - Sexual abuse, Depression, Eating Disorders. ( mentioned not explained.)
This post does contain a little faith-based content.


Dear Life,
I can't believe this day has finally arrived! You know the painful journey it has taken to get to this point, but at long last it's finally over. You have no idea how grateful I am to God for this. It makes me so happy I actually want to cry! I am of-course talking about moving day. Not for myself, but for the family member that is moving, this was a long time coming and it will be good for them to move on from the dark shadows of the past.  As you know, I lost a family member last year. The grieving process taught me many lessons, but now that my other family member is moving it feels like we actually get to move on, although the person we lost will never be forgotten.
Life you know, I want my blog to be authentic, but at the same time I also like to appear to be strong enough to handle whatever you throw at me, sometimes though life that really just isn't the case. Sometimes life you throw things at me that make me feel like I am wondering in the desert or lost at sea,  alone in my screaming pain, darkness and cruel thoughts. I have definitively experienced  the dark night of the soul on  many occasions. My saving grace during these times  always has been and always will be my savior and best friend Jesus, nothing can comfort me quite so well as he does. He is gentle, but safe and I love him so much. He accepts me just as I am and helps me find my feet again. Life, depression can really suck! I don't know why God allows me to walk those dark paths that Jet always get me on, but what I do know is that the light is never more appreciated then when it is breaking into darkness.  I see no reason to go into detail, because life you were there you already know, the last 14 years have been incredibly trying. I'm not so naive to think that after today, I will never have to deal with pain again, you take me to good places and bad, and both serve the purpose intended in God's perfect time.  I am not afraid of the future life, but I am so relieved to finally let go of the past. That said, I think my story will always be with me, I know that from time to time, I am called up on to tell it because it can help others see there is always hope no matter how dark it may seem. Life you really are full of surprises!
Maybe this will be the last time for a while but let's recap. In the last 14 years you have walked me through depression, an eating disorder, homelessness, anxiety, betrayal, rejection, loss, so much loss. Confusion, fear, insane amounts of pain due to different degrees of sexual abuse and many nasty surprises I really rather forget. Does that cover everything? No, actually it doesn't because you have also walked me though, getting up after failure, many times. Peace,healing, forgiveness, restored innocence,security, grace and love. I know that God is responsible for this, he turned my ashes in to beauty and I know He is ready and willing to do it for anyone that will ask, but the point is life. I am still here and I am done running from the fact that these things happened. If God can ever use my story to help someone else, awesome. If even one line of what I have been through can help someone start or find a little strength to continue fighting for their own healing and wholeness then it is was worth it to be this open and honest, even on such a public platform as my blog.
I know so many people who would tell me to talk about my past here life, is a really bad idea. There is a natural desire in most humans to hide their shortcomings and failings, but you see, my life is not my own and I wouldn't even be here today writing if it were not for God's grace. So therefore I figure, if I'm still here there must be a reason why, and maybe part of that is to tell my story. It's not that I am anyone special ( although we are all special to God) it's just as simple as I have a voice and I am willing to use it. I was only recently reminded that my voice matters and so since I got that reminder I want to use my voice to make a difference, even if it's only in a few people's lives. I want to let the young broken girl, that tries to cover up her pain with makeup, that she is beautiful just the way she is. I want to tell the twenty-something like myself, that the confusion will end one day and you will find your place. I want to tell the depressed soul, to fight to win. Depression and mental illness doesn't have to be your undoing , you can still do amazing things with your life.  I have learned so much over the past years life and I know you have much to teach me, but at long last the chapter of my life marked " running in pain and hiding in tears", is finally over and so I guess now I can breathe a sigh of relief before the next battle starts.
Anyway, the phone's ringing so I guess that means it's time to help with the move.
Catch you soon life,
Love Hayley
xXx
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Letters To Life 6 - Run Devil Run!

By    July 03, 2015 //

Dear life, wow what a roller-coaster the past few years have been. I've tried so many doors, failed and bounced back so many times, I could probably give Tigger a run for his money! I've learned so much in that time, you taught me some tough lessons, but I'm finally standing in the position I've dreamt of all my life. I know who I am and what I'm about but what's more I now know what I was created for. There is nothing more fulfilling then doing the thing you were designed to do, and now I finally get it, even my pain makes sense!
In order to explain what on earth I'm even on about I will have to remind you life of the journey you have taken me on that led to this point. As you know I just had my blogger birthday, in preparation for that I did something very dangerous...I googled my teenage self. Through doing this I was reminded of the passion and pursuits I had back then. It is true that for most of us, the most passionate we will ever be is when we are in our teen years. Youth on a mission is bad news for the darkness of this world, they can do real damage or real good if they put their mind to it. I should know, I use to be one of them. Somehow, between the pressures of growing up and typical early twenties issues like self discovery and just wanting to be young and enjoy life, I lost sight of the causes I cared so passionately about when I was younger. It's not that I didn't care, because I always did and still do, it's more that I forgot the fact I have a voice and that matters.  Ive listened to so many opinions in the last few years I completely lost sight of my own!  So then life lets remind you (and the future me  should I ever forget again) who I am and what I'm about and actually think about things.
3
2
1
Go!
It started with a book.  Be the Change by Zach Hunter.  I read it when I was sweet sixteen, in college hurting because I had only just started my healing journey but so on fire for God and passionately seeking to make the world a better place, or at very least my world a better place. I had a burning desire to start a project to connect the hurting teens at my college with people who could actually help them. I wanted to make a difference and I wanted to stand for those that felt like they couldn't. I wanted to be an arrow or a hand, acting as a first step to recovery and helping people start their own healing journey and if they found Jesus along the way that was even more awesome!  After reading Zach Hunter's book. I did just that. It inspired me no end. In the time my project Beauty From Beneath The Scars was running we helped over 500 people get started on their healing journeys. It was challenging, especially since I had work, college, family and church commitments to think about and I was insane amounts of inner pain, looking back I'm sure God was in it and is the only reason I got through all that. It's still amazing to know that  this is my reality, and will forever be a part of my story. I feel so, so blessed and privileged  to know that but it's not enough. I'm still breathing and there is still work to be done and I really want to get stuck in again.
Anyway back on point, I put my passion for healing on the shelf for many years but now 10 years on, that passion has woken up inside of me and I can barely contain it!!
How this happened needs to be forever recorded in another letter, I genuinely believe my story may help someone else realise they are closer to the breakthrough they long for then they think.
So then life,  I will write you again tomorrow but for now I'm in London, the sun is shining and this little break was needed.
Catch you later,
Love Hayley
xXx

Letters To Life - 5?

By    July 03, 2015 //

Dear life,
I'm not sure what number letter this is but never mind, I'm still going to write to you. I kind of fell of the bandwagon in February when it came to writing my blog.  I did post a few things, but quickly deleted them because they just did not feel like me. My writing was heavily guided by emotional pain. Never a good plan if you want to put out something very specifically light and fluffy. I think every writer goes through phases where they just can't seem to come up with anything worth while to write about, I see my writing as an extension of myself and therefore I am very protective over my work. I am sure I am not the only one that goes thought the frustrating dance of writing something, hating it, deleting it then screwing up the paper and launching it across the room because I'm just not happy with any of my ideas.  I set out a schedule for what I wanted to do  on my blog in February, but then my emotions took the reigns and nothing stuck.

If writing were a hobby for me and I had set out my blog to just be a place to gather my thoughts, this would have been okay, however, this blog is designed with a mission in mind I have set guidelines and boundaries for my writing and my awesome readers tune into my work because they are interested in the subject matter.  By going off the tracks and writing about things not set out in the mission statement, I feel like I've seriously let down my readers. I value each and every one of them so much, but my writing this last month has only rarely reflected that. I want to apologize to my readers for the lack of content and the apathetic nature of the posts I did get up in this last month. I am not going to make excuses because all we really have in life is our word and in some respect, by not putting out the content I said I would, I broke mine. (along with my new year's resolution about consistency. but that's a whole other regret). Sometimes second chances don't exist. Especially in the saturated market of every industry today that is so full of choice, it really is a real achievement to get people to tune into what you have to say, and then to keep them tuning in a whole other task in itself.  Life you know, it never has been about the numbers for me. However, just because it's not about the numbers, doesn't mean I should care any less about putting out decent content.
It's really not the easiest thing in the world, life to live above emotions, but if this blog is going to be the vehicle to do what is was designed to do, then living above my emotions is something I really need to master. I know I am not perfect and this side of heaven , I never will be, but every great writer, artist, or inspirational figure that I look up to, all have in common that they learned how to handle their emotions, stay focused and complete their given tasks. Integrity is really important to me, but so is authenticity and the two don't always agree.
I think life I need to lay out once again my intentions for Daisy Change, not only on this blog but also somewhere I can see it every time I sit down to write. I set the boundaries for this blog for very good reasons. but it feels like all I've done so far this year is talk about intentions on this blog without actually carrying them out, so let's make this life, the last time that happens.
Think that's about it, catch you next time,
Love Hayley
xXx

Letters To Life 4 - Finding Me in You.

By    July 02, 2015 //


Dear Life,
You taught me last year that sometimes there is more freedom in silence than words. You and i have many secrets and I think I'm finally okay with that. I used to find it hard to keep things to myself because I craved Peoples approval, these days though ,I am more than happy to live for the audience of one. 

 I'm learning what it means to be gracefully bold.  I didn't know that such a thing existed but it does.  

I am finally at a place where I can love people from both sides of the coin. 

I can encourage, inspire, compliment and build up in love but I can also speak the truth, even if its hard to hear, I care about what happens to those put on my path, both in this life and the next and nothing brings me more joy than loving people hard-core. 

Being prepared to get into the mess, not judge but gently help girls that are where I once was to a place where they can stand and look themselves square in the mirror and see the beauty that God created, there in their eyes. 

 The older I get, the more my passion for this grows. It feels life, like this is what I was born to do, so no more games than, there's work to do. I am on a mission and I won't quit until its finished!

I love you life, you are amazing!  

Your ups and downs all lead around this winding road to new challenges, new blessings and new ground. You and I know where I am right now, I never ever thought I would ever be right at this point. 

Yet here I am. 2015 is going to be amazing, I can feel it in my code! I know Jet may show is ugly mutt face from time to time but I will always fight to win and I am all in on making Daisy Change an encouragement center to act as spring-board to greater things for my awesome readers!

Anyways, enough talk, let's make it happen!

Love Hayley
xXx

The Devils Tool Box - The Hammer of Fear

By    July 31, 2013 //
The next tool the devil likes to use to distract us from moving forward in life is the hammer of fear. 

Fear can come in many different forms. 

It can come in the obvious form of worry, anxiety, paranoia or even the not so obvious little worries we get about the smaller things.

I'm not going to say too much about this one because if I got into this topic to deeply, I don't think I would know where to stop, so rather then going into detail about how fear works and what we can do about it.

I'm just going to state the 3 main lessons I have learnt about fear and then give a source list so that if you want to do further study you are aware of some of the resources available.

Please note these lessons are about fear in a negative sense.


I know that fear can still be good and even protect us sometimes, but I am talking about the unhelpful side of fear in these lessons.

 Lesson 1 - If you give fear space to grow it will.

Fear usually starts out as a thought in your head, the more you think on it the more it grows, before you know it a small worry has turned into something much bigger and in some cases, it can leave you paranoid and terrified, even sometimes for your very life.

 Lesson 2- The best way to get over your fear is to face it.

Fear is a tricky one, if you don't deal with it then it holds power over you.

There is that age-old decision between fight or flight, and in most cases, the flight is the best option.

If you are in danger then yes you should get out of that situation and in that regard, yes flight is the best option.

However if you're not in danger and the fear is of something else like for example, fear of being rejected for the job so you just don't try in the first place, then that is not helping you in the long run.

The main fear that most people have to deal with is the fear of the unknown.I'm not going to elaborate on this point any more but once again, I do suggest Susan Jefers Book, Feel The Fear and Do it anyway.

 Lesson 3- Fear is usually just a shadow.

Joyce Meyer, a New York Times bestseller and excellent teacher, has a very tragic story. She has suffered abuse and in many cases, had the right to be afraid, but she had learnt that Fear is only a shadow and often states that Fear is easily explained by this False Evidence Appearing Real.

The fact is, half the things we are afraid of will never actually happen. Our minds are battle Fields and if the devil can get us to be paralysed by fear then he can get us to accept his lies as we looked at in the previous post.

 Lesson 4- Fear never works alone.


Fear has a little brother that it likes to take everywhere it goes.

This little brother's name is doubt.

Together with fear and doubt, climb into your mind and batter your brain with the constant chatter of "what if" and "why you can't" they sit there to hit your head, just like a hammer hitting a nail.

 Recommended  Resources ( Doubles as the source material for the last few posts)


Joyce Meyer - Battlefield of the Mind
http://www.joycemeyer.org/ProductDetail.aspx?id=000159

Susan Jeffers - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/detailtemplate.cfm?catID=2234

John 14 : 27 "I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid". - Jesus Christ ( NLT) 

The Devils Tool Box - The Nails of Acceptance

By    July 24, 2013 //
It may seem strange that I'm starting this series by talking about acceptance as a tool used in the devil's toolbox but it does have a good reason for being the first topic looked at in this teaching. 

Accepting things, in general, is not a bad thing, in fact, it is important to accept certain things in order to move forward in personal growth and there are things the devil will try to stop us from accepting. 

However, there are things that if we accept too easily, they will actually stunt our personal growth.

We are going to look at 2 of those things that can cause us to stay stuck by accepting them.

In order to explain this, I'm going to start out by looking at it from the viewpoint of the thoughts attached to each of these things, then explain why and how it is dangerous to think this way and how to move from a negative viewpoint to a positive.

What is important to remember is that the devil is a liar and so each of these thoughts is a lie.

Let's now look at the evidence for that statement, in each of the thoughts we have that keep us nailed where we are in a negative way. 

Let's begin,

Thought that is a Lie 1. Things will never change. - Hopelessness

When things have been the same way for a long time, we often get it stuck in our head that things will never change. 

This is because it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the middle of it. 

It is very easy to lose hope and just accept that this is our lot in life and nothing is ever going to change so we may as well accept it and deal with it. 

Why is this dangerous? 
This is a dangerous thing to think because it completely limits your mind in terms of thinking of options to getting out of a situation, this can and usually does lead to worry and depression. 

Depression is like quicksand, it will just suck you in further and further if you allow it to do so.

The result of thinking a situation is hopeless is despair. 

As soon as you hit that lower level of despair, it opens the door for the devil to start whispering more lies to you and you are far more likely to believe them. 

It is a long journey to get out of depression and despair and one that often involves a roller-coaster of emotions that are very hard to deal with alone. 

Please don't try to do this alone. If you are struggling, click here. 

How can we change this thought into a positive?
We can change this thought of things will never change into a positive by refusing to believe that this is all life has to offer.

The fact is no matter how hopeless a situation may seem, there are always choices even if the only choice you have is to change your attitude towards the situation your in. 

By choosing to believe that life has more to offer and then committing to doing whatever you can in order to make your life better, one small step at a time, you will start to see little changes. 

The best way to get unstuck when your in a rut, (which is basically another way of staying stuck in the mud or stuck going through the motions) is to change something. 

Even if the something you change is only small, if the routine is really that much of a pain to you, then even a small change will be welcomed.

As you start to make small changes you will start empowering yourself to create the life you want, which in turn will help with convincing yourself that the next statement the devil loves to whisper to you to keep you stuck, is also a lie. 


Thought that is a lie 2. I can't do this because of _______ - Lack of confidence 
If we believe the lie that nothing will ever change, we often also believe that we will never change. This then gives way for this second lie to come in to play.

We magnify all the bad points about ourselves and decide that because of all these negative traits, habits or attributes in us, or any number of external circumstances or factors that somehow we are not going to be able to cope with the situation.

The truth is, under it all. Fear has us under the thumb. 

Why this is dangerous?
Our natural instinct when it comes to feeling uncomfortable is to avoid the thing making us feel that way and so we stay stuck.

Fear keeps us paralyzed and so we wind up overthinking everything and worrying excessively, which has a negative effect on many areas of our lives including our health.

In other words, staying stuck can cause so much destruction that is can actually put your life at risk. 

How can we turn this into a positive? 
In my own life, I can honestly say the only way to deal with fear is to face it. I am sure you have heard that before. It is a tried and tested fact that works in a whole host of situations.

The best thing to do when it comes to dealing with fear is to educate yourself and then face it. 

When you educate yourself on something you don't understand or are afraid of it can make you feel more confident to actually face the fear. Sometimes educating yourself is enough, but that is very rare. 

 An amazing, life-changing book I would recommend if you are wanting to learn how to deal with fear is Feel the Fear and do it anyway, by Susan Jeffers. 

There are plenty of resources out there, you need only do your research, however, no amount of research is going to compensate for the freedom that can only come through facing your fear.

Of course, there are things that you don't have face if you don't want to, not all fear is bad and not all fears need to be addressed immediately.

The question to ask when deciding if this certain fear needs to be addressed is simply how is this fear impacting my life? 


If it is affecting you in a negative way and you could actually say that the fear in one way or another is controlling your life or how you feel about yourself then it is probably best to face it and sort it out. 

Disclaimer- Don't be stupid, use your head, don't break the law to face a fear and always remember to stay safe. Remember that professional help is available if you're dealing with an irrational fear that controls you and it never makes you weak to get help if you need it. 

There is a positive side to acceptance that can actually help with moving forward and the devil will do everything to keep you from accepting 5 simple truths because he knows that if you accept them, you will empower yourself to move forward. 

If you don't accept these three simple truths, you will be equally as stuck as you will be by accepting the negative thoughts already explained. 

5 Truths that we need to accept in order to move forward in life 

1. I may not like where I am now, but I don't have to stay stuck, things can change.

2. I am responsible for my own happiness. Even if I don't have control over my situation, I can still have control over how I react to it. 

3. I am worthy of good things to happen to me. 

4. I don't have to do/face this alone. 

5. My attitude has a direct effect on my result. 

Recap 
  • The two thoughts that the devil likes to get us to accept in order to keep us from moving forward in life are Things will never change and that you can't do this. 
  • Both of these are not true because of it down to choice. Even if the only thing you have control over is your attitude towards a situation. The devil is a liar. 
  • By making small changes, you will start to gain the confidence you need to believe that you can do anything you need to do and begin to see that you don't have to stay stuck. 
For those of you wanting to know where I get my information to write this, a source list will be available at the end of this series. 

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