How To Handle Hard Times In London When You Are Not Fully Settled

By    July 29, 2019 //


Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.


Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 



I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of background.

I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.

London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)

What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and regardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!

This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this,
please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome!


It just took some getting used to for me. I think that  not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.

I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.

Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.

Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.


1.Come Alive To Your New Environment

It rarely looks like this at any central tube station, so you have to learn to move with purpose.


London has so much to offer, and if you know where to look there are some great places to go for free. That said the culture of the city is varied depending on where you go. There are some general things that are pretty much across the board. Discussing the weather is considered polite conversation if you are stuck in awkward silences with people, pretty much everywhere in London. Although, due to the fact that London is so big, it's also the preferred choice for most to just get on with things in silence. 

Learn to be the car, indicate with your arm which direction you are going, with minimal eye contact and walk briskly.
Be vigilant. If get shoved you're unlikely to get an apology, and again keep an eye on your belongs pickpockets are real.
People in London, are used to being around diversity on a large scale, and somewhere in that large scale of personalities, there is bound to be a few jokers,  a wide range of scams do go on here. for this reason, it's important to note that people here are not cold because they want to be. It's just that due to the wide range of personalities here, you don't know what you are getting and so on first impressions, the sweetest of gals will appear, ice queens, because being nice can cost too much sometimes.

With this in mind, learn to protect yourself.  Qualify people before you let them into your inner circle, and always keep an eye on your belongings if you are out and about. Oh and one more thing, ladies please learn self-defence, not that you will need it, but it's better safe than sorry. Finally to any Christians reading this, don't share your faith in the centre of London, it paints the biggest target of nonsense on you, and it's not savvy. Think parable of the sower. Be wise.


OK now we have got the harsh realities out of the way, now we can talk about the good stuff.

2. Come Alive To Home Comforts

Home wouldn't be home, without my duckies!
This is just a small thing to help remind me of happy times in my homeland, for those days when I feel a little homesick. 


Due to the fact, London can be a lonely, and somewhat cold place to live, it's really important that you take extra special care of yourself. To do that you should figure out what makes you happy when you are on your own, and lean into it. I personally am a handcrafter. I love making cards, doing project life and making jewellery. I am also an Avon lady, and since joining Avon, I have found that pamper nights testing out products to recommend to my customers, have been invaluable in helping me to brave the day.  It doesn't have to be Avon, but in general taking care of your body will help take care of your mind, soul, spirit and well-being. Also, who doesn't love a good movie/box-set binge night with a lovely box of chocolates once in a while? 

My personal favourite treat is Jaffa Cakes or maybe a little popcorn!

I run this site on hot chocolate and jaffa cakes,
 but hot chocolate is also my preferred drink to chill with when I'm not in the mood for a cup of tea that is.


These seemingly little things make all the difference because in order to truly share the joy with others you first need to feel it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and prioritise spending time doing that even if only for a couple hours a week, it will make a big difference in your performance to the wider world. If you can't find time for this, you got a bigger problem, you may need to reshuffle your schedule, we have a post about this coming soon. 


3. Come Alive To New Opportunities


You got this, so go do it! 

We already talked about taking up solo hobbies, but there are also so many options for taking up hobbies that could lead to new friends. London is very well connected, and if you lack the confidence to go for it like I did when I got here, you can always do a confidence-building course. Udemy is excellent for this.


4. Come Alive To Your Little World


The most accurate description I have heard of London in the last few years come from the movie Paddington Bear. In that movie, they point out that since London is so diverse you really do have the permission to be #uniquenotunicorn as I would put it, and still feel like you belong here.

I have blue hair, but the heart I am a lady and being into both the alternative fashion scene while still being a refined person works perfectly well here. It didn't back home so much. Figure out what makes you, you and lean into it. Let yourself have a few home comforts that remind you of where you came from, this will help you stay grounded and can really help on those homesick days.

Seriously, without my ducks London wouldn't feel like home!


You get to decide what living in London looks like for you. Create your own little world and this safe place will make it easier to handle things when life gets hard. My world wouldn't be complete without music, feel free to go check out my playlists over on Spotify.

5. Come Alive To Living For Something Bigger Than Yourself




This is really about thinking of others, which has been proven to help humans feel fulfilled in life. Figure out what you care about and join your tribe. We are better together, and when you have people around you that genuinely get you and care, it makes so much easier to tackle the to the tough stuff.



I would say I belong to several tribes, but the one that I want to highlight right here is actually the blogasphere. Blogging has been a lifeline for me in tough times and so just to end this post I want to say thankyou to my fellow bloggers, your words have been invaluable, and I truly hope that mine can be just as encouraging.

That's about it for today,










Introducing How To Settle In London, England - The Student Guide

By    July 24, 2019 //

Hey guys, we're back! 



Hope you are having a great Summer, we sure are! 


In fact, you can see just how much fun we've been having over on insta where we are smack bang in our summer of reflection. 

You see I have a big birthday at the end of this Summer and so before I hit the big _0 I wanted to reflect on all that I have learnt thus far, and where life has brought me. Now it just wouldn't be right if, given that I am a generous person by nature if I don't share that generosity with the city that I have called home for 5 years. Previously to that, I was in a long-distance relationship with my other half for 5 years and so for 10 years now, London has been a regular part of my life. I know that many of you are moving to London for school around about now. (or maybe you just moved here for your other half/as a faith move and need to jump straight into work like I did)



The thing is, much of what I share here could be useful if you are moving to the big city this Summer, even if that city is not London. (especially if like me, you hail from the countryside or an entirely different country altogether) 

This is a very London England, centric guide, but if you can get something out of my ldr, mental health, study or self-defence and etiquette tips you are very welcome here also. 


Now before we dive into this, I just want to point out a couple of things...

All of the posts in this guide are written from the viewpoint of a woman who is not from London originally, but every post is lovelily crafted together with my very local partner. He has lived in London all his life, and together with friends, Mr has been helping me to keep this series as culturally sensitive as possible. 

That said, everyone has their own unique way of seeing things and so this is based on experience and opinion only. Our views do NOT necessarily reflect the viewpoint of every Londoner. In fact since London is so diverse I am sure there will be differing opinions here.

Also, I'm not going to cover how to actually move to London or the basics of what to expect from your setup/landlord etc... however, I have included a resource sheet full of articles and useful links that should cover the very basics of moving to London from anywhere in the world. 

This resource sheet will be available at the end of this series. 


Okay, I think that about covers this introduction. 

We start next Tuesday at 10am 

See you then? 

















How To Leave A Secret Society And Not Die

By    July 15, 2019 //

How To Leave A Secret Society And Not Die (How I Got Trapped)


They trapped me, or maybe or perhaps it was my ignorant bliss.

I thought they loved, I thought they cared,

But really they lied, they emptied me wallet and soul.


I was so broken,

Thinking there was  no way out. 


I thought I was desperate at the beginning.

When death signed the marriage certificate. 


But oh what bliss to struggle in freedom!


The day they gave me everything, 

I thought I won, but really I lost.




How To Handle Hard Times ( In A City Like London)

By    May 30, 2019 //
Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counselor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 

Before I get into this, I need to say that although I have acknowledged the king of this blog, in so much as I have asked permission to do this, I act alone in the following...

The nature of what I am about to share with you, is not something that anyone else should bare the weight of, since this is my decision, based on my own convictions.

I am sorry this sounds so dramatic, but anyone who knew the old me in person will know, drama and Hayley Esther kind of go hand in hand. I admit to this fully, and it is for the purpose of leaning into a language I have taught those that love and support me, to expect from me, that I now choose to make my exist in a dramatic fashion as the writing of this post.

I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

You see the happiest day of my life was and is the day that I died.

For those of you in the UK you may have noticed that the closer we get to Brexit, the more uncertain things seem to be becoming, however even in these uncertain times, let me assure there is still hope.

All you have to do is learn to die.

Let me explain,

Often times, something has to die in order for something else to live. There are births and deaths everyday, these two things are the only certainties in our physical world. We humans like seasons, just think back a few weeks ago, the end of 2018 brought on the beginning of 2019. I'm not going to labor on this point anymore, but I think you get the idea.

The fact is in life, seasons change and so things have to come to an end in order for something to new to begin.

Bottom line is in order for you lead an amazing, abundant, joy filled life, you first have to die to some things that are no good to you.

Now I know this would be the perfect place to share my faith in Jesus Christ, but that's it. This short two sentences, does just that, if you die to the world and come alive to Christ, you will experience joy on a whole other level, message me if you want details, but this post is not about that. ( This is a note for our seasoned followers)

The gospel of Jesus Christ should never be for sale, therefore there are no affiliate links in this post, but if you do want to support us, so we can focus on creating great content for you, please consider either donating or checking out my store. Thank you. Now then let's get on with it.

Before we get into it, I need to first outline 5 things you should die to in order to lead a more joy-filled life. These are general tips, my London specific tips will be up later this week.


1. You Should Die To Perfectionism



This may seem like a obvious one, but honey you are not perfect, and trying to be is only going to frustrate you and deplete your energy. That energy can be spent better else where, and the fact is that irregardless of how close you get to the mark, you will never, ever be 100% pure in every sense of the word. For starters, you can't control the fact you have breathed air that is polluted at some point in your life, not to mention all of the icky feelings you have experienced over time. Emotion is a good thing, and keeping it disciplined is important, this is true, but the fact is you won't succeed with this 100% of the time. For your own sake, let your hair down and just be who you are, not who you are trying to be.


2. You Should Die To People Pleasing


This follows on from the last point and I know it's a hard reality to accept but we can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. Diversity means compromise, and part of that comprise means you have a right to your own mind and voice irregardless of what you are about. You absolutely should be respectful, but if you feel strongly about something you have the right to back up your beliefs with words, and actions...and what's more, most of the time you should because evil only increases when good people do nothing.


3. You Should Die To Happiness

Happiness is fleeting, it is a feeling,but fulfillment goes deeper than that. You won't be happy every second of the day even if you are fulfilled, but you will be happier a lot more of the time, just by consequence of being true to you who you are, and building towards a life build on firm foundations. Building life on any feeling is not stable, but let me remind you at this point, joy is not a feeling.


4. Die To Legalism & Come Alive To Peace


My definition of legalism is anything that seeks to create unrealistic standards with rules and regulations that go beyond the basics of what is needed to maintain the illusion of fairness. This can be in organised religion, but sometimes its not. 

Apply this to your belief structure.

Results may be varied.

Point still stands for those of you I have aimed to communicate this point with. I know my niche on this point, but forget the points and geometric shapes, they are just as restrictive, I'm sticking to flowers!

Life is far more peaceful that way!


5. Die To Grace & Wake Up To Mercy



On the flip side, where are my white nights at?

Let me just make this crystal clear for you, even if your intentions  are the best in the world, in the end, grace won't save you, mercy will. Seek the one who offers mercy and you will find the abundance of security and life they promised you. Those who trade freedom for security wind up with neither, this is a fact, but it is also true those that rely on hyper gracious freedoms will one day wake up to find they were just as trapped as those they mocked for being trapped in legalism.

For us humans, extremes are rarely good. Mercy is for sure the way to go.


I feel like I have pushed about as far as is reasonable in this post and so I am gonna leave it there for now. Expect part two later this week.

Until then,  catch us over on social media.

At the moment, Pintrest is a massive part of our every day life, but we are also on Instagram, Facebook. DevientArt  and Twitter. 

Hopefully we will see you over on one of those.




Depression Sucks And So Does This Post (Proberly)

By    March 05, 2019 //
Disclaimer :Since it's the age of triggered, I will give you 3 potential triggers for this post, but if you trigger easy you likely don't wanna read this so see you tomorrow if you come back. 

Potential Triggers: Sucide/Depression /Real Talk




Right guys, let me straight today I don't feel like writing....I don't wanna be a real downer especially now the sun is finally starting to show up around here but I just got a word that a  friend of mine has committed suicide.

At this point, I've just about had enough of getting messages like this, because I've had more in my young life than I care to admit. To be authentic today, I can't in good consciences  (yeah big word and what? I'm so not in the mood to edit myself right now) put up the happy post I was going to do so instead. I'm fighting back!

Depression that is.

I am fighting depression back because it sucks, and while it may be a part of the whole grieving thing. it's also had way too much of my life and time and I'm just done taking it. 

I don't know if this post will help anyone, but if gives someone flirting with jumping off the edge a much needed wakeup call. Good. 

If you are sucidal or depressed today consider this a cold glass of water in your face!




Wake up! We are here and we want to help you!! If you feel like you have no one else, reach out to one of these awesome helplines if you are here in the UK, if not then please google for help in your area, there are lots of great places set up all over the world to help. (this post is not affiliated or paid for by these helplines. I just really trust them personally)

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us?gclid=CjwKCAiA2fjjBRAjEiwAuewS_eZ7kaii5D3DGNrIhclVNiuC3H67r6sjnUQhwm5AwIgb1QzkNu9z4BoCLP4QAvD_BwE

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/#.XH9Hy8D7QVQ


Of course, I am gonna be there for my friend's family and I'm sad at the loss of my friend, but I have been hit with depression ,many, many times before and there are so many articles on how I overcame it and fight it when it shows up, right on this site.

Here's a few. If they help awesome! That's why I wrote them. I removed the affiliate links because of the nature of this situation (I can do little more to help my griving friends from a distance and we scattered all over the place)

http://www.daisychange.co.uk/2017/10/be-unique-not-uniform-when-you-hurting.html 

http://www.daisychange.co.uk/2015/05/loosing-friends-learning-lessons.html

http://www.daisychange.co.uk/2015/05/my-secret-to-beating-depression-here.html

http://www.daisychange.co.uk/2015/06/the-running-shoes-suicide-depression.html

The thing is though guys if there is one take away from this sad time and day is that when life hits us, it's up to us how we choose to take the hand we get dealt. My friend made a perment decision that transfered his pain to all of his loved ones and he didn't reach out. He carried his pain alone, even though he didn't have to.  If you feel like he did just know that life is worth living and there is hope, never loose sight of that, suicide is damn destructive to all those left  behind! 


No matter how bad the pain is, it gets better in time trust me. 

My advise to all of you is if you are grieving today, that's okay, but this season will pass in time.

There's the generic statement, now for something more meaningful..

It's also totes okay to feel really rubbish even when the sunshine is out!

Your emotions are valid. You matter and you are worth taking care of, especially when you are hurting. Never forget that, and go fight to win at life like you mean it, because it's the only one you get and it won't last forever. (again, I'm not editing myself today)

Okay that's it for today. Enjoy the posts I did way back when, they probs have way more value than this.

Take it easy guys!



Got a complaint or comment? Let me know below and let's all together grow!



P.s If I'm not up to writing anymore this week. I won't. I have to take care of my own heart and I only want to publish content of value. Hope you guys understand!



How To Handle Hard Times In London When You Are Not Fully Settled

By    February 04, 2019 //


Before we go any further let me just make it clear, there are affiliate links in this post. This is no extra cost to you, but if you click and purchase something via one of my links then I may make a small commission.


Disclaimer :The following post is written purely from experience, if you are going through a hard time and feel the need to do so, you should seek professional assistance from the reverent sources. I am not a doctor, counsellor or therapist, if you choose to take my advise you do so at your own risk. 



I have noticed recently that we have a lot of new followers to this site, so before I get started let me give you a little bit of background.

I am a country girl from South Wales, and my other half is a Londoner. We were a long distance couple for a long time, but eventually, I moved to London, not just to be closer to him, but also because it was better for my well-being, career and overall goals for fulfilment.

London as with any city, is so diverse, and so I've never really felt an issue with being mixed in with so many different cultures, including obviously the English ( The rivalry between the English and the Welsh is stupid in my opinion, but some on both sides disagree with me and so banter is to be expected)

What I have struggled with however, is the fact that many of my loved ones are still back home in Wales, and regardless of where in the world you come from city life and country life are very, very different. Add to this the fact that when I arrived here, I had my own set of issues, due to past traumas, and the fact that life is full of ups and downs, and that pretty much covers the background of what living in London has been like for me.

Don't get me wrong, I love this city!!

This is my London, I have a thing for pigeons, back home I have a nick name related to this,
please ignore the crazy and get the point, this city is awesome!


It just took some getting used to for me. I think that  not being settled anywhere can make harder times even harder, and so the goal of this post is to give some ideas on what I did to settle here. Now when hard times come, I can focus on getting through the hard issues.

I must remind you, the following is just my opinions based on experience. I don't mean to stereotype anyone or London, this has just been my personal experiences, and maybe you can relate. If so I hope the following tips help you out.

Last post we talked about things you need to die to, this time we are going to focus on things you should come alive to. For those of you reading this thinking I need to get better at following my own advice on the following, you are right, so these 5 things are my "putting the tent pegs down" moment.

Here are 5 tips to handing hard times in London when you're not fully settled.


1.Come Alive To Your New Environment

It rarely looks like this at any central tube station, so you have to learn to move with purpose.


London has so much to offer, and if you know where to look there are some great places to go for free. That said the culture of the city is varied depending on where you go. There are some general things that are pretty much across the board. Discussing the weather is considered polite conversation if you are stuck in awkward silences with people, pretty much everywhere in London. Although, due to the fact that London is so big, it's also the preferred choice for most to just get on with things in silence. 

Learn to be the car, indicate with your arm which direction you are going, with minimal eye contact and walk briskly.
Be vigilant. If get shoved you're unlikely to get an apology, and again keep an eye on your belongs pickpockets are real.
People in London, are used to being around diversity on a large scale, and somewhere in that large scale of personalities, there is bound to be a few jokers,  a wide range of scams do go on here. for this reason, it's important to note that people here are not cold because they want to be. It's just that due to the wide range of personalities here, you don't know what you are getting and so on first impressions, the sweetest of gals will appear, ice queens, because being nice can cost too much sometimes.

With this in mind, learn to protect yourself.  Qualify people before you let them into your inner circle, and always keep an eye on your belongings if you are out and about. Oh and one more thing, ladies please learn self-defence, not that you will need it, but it's better safe than sorry. Finally to any Christians reading this, don't share your faith in the centre of London, it paints the biggest target of nonsense on you, and it's not savvy. Think parable of the sower. Be wise.


OK now we have got the harsh realities out of the way, now we can talk about the good stuff.

2. Come Alive To Home Comforts

Home wouldn't be home, without my duckies!
This is just a small thing to help remind me of happy times in my homeland, for those days when I feel a little homesick. 


Due to the fact, London can be a lonely, and somewhat cold place to live, it's really important that you take extra special care of yourself. To do that you should figure out what makes you happy when you are on your own, and lean into it. I personally am a handcrafter. I love making cards, doing project life and making jewellery. I am also an Avon lady, and since joining Avon, I have found that pamper nights testing out products to recommend to my customers, have been invaluable in helping me to brave the day.  It doesn't have to be Avon, but in general taking care of your body will help take care of your mind, soul, spirit and well-being. Also, who doesn't love a good movie/box-set binge night with a lovely box of chocolates once in a while? 

My personal favourite treat is Jaffa Cakes or maybe a little popcorn!

I run this site on hot chocolate and jaffa cakes,
 but hot chocolate is also my preferred drink to chill with when I'm not in the mood for a cup of tea that is.


These seemingly little things make all the difference because in order to truly share the joy with others you first need to feel it for yourself. Find what makes you happy and prioritise spending time doing that even if only for a couple hours a week, it will make a big difference in your performance to the wider world. If you can't find time for this, you got a bigger problem, you may need to reshuffle your schedule, we have a post about this coming soon. 


3. Come Alive To New Opportunities


You got this, so go do it! 

We already talked about taking up solo hobbies, but there are also so many options for taking up hobbies that could lead to new friends. London is very well connected, and if you lack the confidence to go for it like I did when I got here, you can always do a confidence-building course. Udemy is excellent for this.


4. Come Alive To Your Little World


The most accurate description I have heard of London in the last few years come from the movie Paddington Bear. In that movie, they point out that since London is so diverse you really do have the permission to be #uniquenotunicorn as I would put it, and still feel like you belong here.

I have blue hair, but the heart I am a lady and being into both the alternative fashion scene while still being a refined person works perfectly well here. It didn't back home so much. Figure out what makes you, you and lean into it. Let yourself have a few home comforts that remind you of where you came from, this will help you stay grounded and can really help on those homesick days.

Seriously, without my ducks London wouldn't feel like home!


You get to decide what living in London looks like for you. Create your own little world and this safe place will make it easier to handle things when life gets hard. My world wouldn't be complete without music, feel free to go check out my playlists over on Spotify.

5. Come Alive To Living For Something Bigger Than Yourself




This is really about thinking of others, which has been proven to help humans feel fulfilled in life. Figure out what you care about and join your tribe. We are better together, and when you have people around you that genuinely get you and care, it makes so much easier to tackle the to the tough stuff.



I would say I belong to several tribes, but the one that I want to highlight right here is actually the blogasphere. Blogging has been a lifeline for me in tough times and so just to end this post I want to say thankyou to my fellow bloggers, your words have been invaluable, and I truly hope that mine can be just as encouraging.

That's about it for today,










Letters To Life 8 - Let's Talk About The Simple Life.

By    August 23, 2015 //

Okay life, I must have been walking around with a massive blind-spot since starting this site. You know I always reserve the right to grow and change, I think that you become the best version of yourself by learning from others success and failure and your own, and Daisy Change has always been built around the word authenticity. This is old news to you, but you recently taught me a lesson that changes the game of how I see the rest of my life and the overall direction of how I want my blog to go.
There is a massive difference between authenticity, perfection and saying too much. I intend to write a post about this as part of my April series so I won't bore you with the details right now.
Here's the last overly TMI statement to ever be written on Daisy Change ( if I can help it) I long for simplicity but up till this point my life has been overly complicated, and I know I have contributed to this. I am currently sitting a tiny bedroom that is full of clutter and junk. I had a massive shopping binge at the end of my week helping that family member move. After sleeping on an arm-chair, not eating properly and dealing with the challenges of helping an older person move and live with them whilst doing this, I really did feel like I needed to blow off some steam! The new stuff I have is not junk, but I am determined that since I have bought new things that I have to get rid of some old things to make room for them. The problem is, clutter has always been a problem for me. Believe me it runs in my blood and I would love to blame that, but my brother  and certain other family members have worked extra hard to break the trend in their lives and I really want to follow that awesome example. That's the whole reason why I decided to spend a whole month writing about altering your life for the better. I am currently in the middle of simplifying my own life and in order to buck the trend of starting this process, finding something " I forgot I had but love" and spending hours on using said new thing, I have given myself a deadline to get my life simplified by the end of April.
Life we are now over half way through the month and I am beginning to feel the pressure of my own goal. I know I can do it, but I have lost a week working on this and actually in some respects my shopping binge ( which is really not like me) was  a bit of a set back.  I'm a little frustrated, but never the less today is a new day and I will get back on track today. Procrastination doesn't even get a look in, you know how I feel about that life.
Another thing I've been thinking about is writing a simple blog, should be far less wordy. Simple things are usually short and sweet but looking back on my posts they are rather long and in some respects a bit complicated. I don't mind my letters to you being long life, because in reality my letters are only a snip-it of the paths you have me walk but as far as my other posts are concerned, I want to set up a new policy to ensure reading my posts on advantage takes less than 5 minutes at maximum but aim for less than 2 minutes.  I know I worded that weird, but this whole simple thing is really something I am only really learning about.  I guess my blog is authentic in that it records my journey to simplicity as it happens. Then when I reach my goal of simplicity, it will be all about maintaining it and I will be in position to share more of what I have learned. In other-words, Daisy Change is only going to grow, just like a flower.
Anyway, I think that's about it, I'm gonna start tackling the boxes of paper on my desk now.
Catch you later life,
Love Hayley
xXx

Letters To Life 7 - I won't stop on 6

By    July 23, 2015 //
Potential Triggers - Sexual abuse, Depression, Eating Disorders. ( mentioned not explained.)
This post does contain a little faith-based content.


Dear Life,
I can't believe this day has finally arrived! You know the painful journey it has taken to get to this point, but at long last it's finally over. You have no idea how grateful I am to God for this. It makes me so happy I actually want to cry! I am of-course talking about moving day. Not for myself, but for the family member that is moving, this was a long time coming and it will be good for them to move on from the dark shadows of the past.  As you know, I lost a family member last year. The grieving process taught me many lessons, but now that my other family member is moving it feels like we actually get to move on, although the person we lost will never be forgotten.
Life you know, I want my blog to be authentic, but at the same time I also like to appear to be strong enough to handle whatever you throw at me, sometimes though life that really just isn't the case. Sometimes life you throw things at me that make me feel like I am wondering in the desert or lost at sea,  alone in my screaming pain, darkness and cruel thoughts. I have definitively experienced  the dark night of the soul on  many occasions. My saving grace during these times  always has been and always will be my savior and best friend Jesus, nothing can comfort me quite so well as he does. He is gentle, but safe and I love him so much. He accepts me just as I am and helps me find my feet again. Life, depression can really suck! I don't know why God allows me to walk those dark paths that Jet always get me on, but what I do know is that the light is never more appreciated then when it is breaking into darkness.  I see no reason to go into detail, because life you were there you already know, the last 14 years have been incredibly trying. I'm not so naive to think that after today, I will never have to deal with pain again, you take me to good places and bad, and both serve the purpose intended in God's perfect time.  I am not afraid of the future life, but I am so relieved to finally let go of the past. That said, I think my story will always be with me, I know that from time to time, I am called up on to tell it because it can help others see there is always hope no matter how dark it may seem. Life you really are full of surprises!
Maybe this will be the last time for a while but let's recap. In the last 14 years you have walked me through depression, an eating disorder, homelessness, anxiety, betrayal, rejection, loss, so much loss. Confusion, fear, insane amounts of pain due to different degrees of sexual abuse and many nasty surprises I really rather forget. Does that cover everything? No, actually it doesn't because you have also walked me though, getting up after failure, many times. Peace,healing, forgiveness, restored innocence,security, grace and love. I know that God is responsible for this, he turned my ashes in to beauty and I know He is ready and willing to do it for anyone that will ask, but the point is life. I am still here and I am done running from the fact that these things happened. If God can ever use my story to help someone else, awesome. If even one line of what I have been through can help someone start or find a little strength to continue fighting for their own healing and wholeness then it is was worth it to be this open and honest, even on such a public platform as my blog.
I know so many people who would tell me to talk about my past here life, is a really bad idea. There is a natural desire in most humans to hide their shortcomings and failings, but you see, my life is not my own and I wouldn't even be here today writing if it were not for God's grace. So therefore I figure, if I'm still here there must be a reason why, and maybe part of that is to tell my story. It's not that I am anyone special ( although we are all special to God) it's just as simple as I have a voice and I am willing to use it. I was only recently reminded that my voice matters and so since I got that reminder I want to use my voice to make a difference, even if it's only in a few people's lives. I want to let the young broken girl, that tries to cover up her pain with makeup, that she is beautiful just the way she is. I want to tell the twenty-something like myself, that the confusion will end one day and you will find your place. I want to tell the depressed soul, to fight to win. Depression and mental illness doesn't have to be your undoing , you can still do amazing things with your life.  I have learned so much over the past years life and I know you have much to teach me, but at long last the chapter of my life marked " running in pain and hiding in tears", is finally over and so I guess now I can breathe a sigh of relief before the next battle starts.
Anyway, the phone's ringing so I guess that means it's time to help with the move.
Catch you soon life,
Love Hayley
xXx
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Letters To Life 6 - Run Devil Run!

By    July 03, 2015 //

Dear life, wow what a roller-coaster the past few years have been. I've tried so many doors, failed and bounced back so many times, I could probably give Tigger a run for his money! I've learned so much in that time, you taught me some tough lessons, but I'm finally standing in the position I've dreamt of all my life. I know who I am and what I'm about but what's more I now know what I was created for. There is nothing more fulfilling then doing the thing you were designed to do, and now I finally get it, even my pain makes sense!
In order to explain what on earth I'm even on about I will have to remind you life of the journey you have taken me on that led to this point. As you know I just had my blogger birthday, in preparation for that I did something very dangerous...I googled my teenage self. Through doing this I was reminded of the passion and pursuits I had back then. It is true that for most of us, the most passionate we will ever be is when we are in our teen years. Youth on a mission is bad news for the darkness of this world, they can do real damage or real good if they put their mind to it. I should know, I use to be one of them. Somehow, between the pressures of growing up and typical early twenties issues like self discovery and just wanting to be young and enjoy life, I lost sight of the causes I cared so passionately about when I was younger. It's not that I didn't care, because I always did and still do, it's more that I forgot the fact I have a voice and that matters.  Ive listened to so many opinions in the last few years I completely lost sight of my own!  So then life lets remind you (and the future me  should I ever forget again) who I am and what I'm about and actually think about things.
3
2
1
Go!
It started with a book.  Be the Change by Zach Hunter.  I read it when I was sweet sixteen, in college hurting because I had only just started my healing journey but so on fire for God and passionately seeking to make the world a better place, or at very least my world a better place. I had a burning desire to start a project to connect the hurting teens at my college with people who could actually help them. I wanted to make a difference and I wanted to stand for those that felt like they couldn't. I wanted to be an arrow or a hand, acting as a first step to recovery and helping people start their own healing journey and if they found Jesus along the way that was even more awesome!  After reading Zach Hunter's book. I did just that. It inspired me no end. In the time my project Beauty From Beneath The Scars was running we helped over 500 people get started on their healing journeys. It was challenging, especially since I had work, college, family and church commitments to think about and I was insane amounts of inner pain, looking back I'm sure God was in it and is the only reason I got through all that. It's still amazing to know that  this is my reality, and will forever be a part of my story. I feel so, so blessed and privileged  to know that but it's not enough. I'm still breathing and there is still work to be done and I really want to get stuck in again.
Anyway back on point, I put my passion for healing on the shelf for many years but now 10 years on, that passion has woken up inside of me and I can barely contain it!!
How this happened needs to be forever recorded in another letter, I genuinely believe my story may help someone else realise they are closer to the breakthrough they long for then they think.
So then life,  I will write you again tomorrow but for now I'm in London, the sun is shining and this little break was needed.
Catch you later,
Love Hayley
xXx

Letters To Life - 5?

By    July 03, 2015 //

Dear life,
I'm not sure what number letter this is but never mind, I'm still going to write to you. I kind of fell of the bandwagon in February when it came to writing my blog.  I did post a few things, but quickly deleted them because they just did not feel like me. My writing was heavily guided by emotional pain. Never a good plan if you want to put out something very specifically light and fluffy. I think every writer goes through phases where they just can't seem to come up with anything worth while to write about, I see my writing as an extension of myself and therefore I am very protective over my work. I am sure I am not the only one that goes thought the frustrating dance of writing something, hating it, deleting it then screwing up the paper and launching it across the room because I'm just not happy with any of my ideas.  I set out a schedule for what I wanted to do  on my blog in February, but then my emotions took the reigns and nothing stuck.

If writing were a hobby for me and I had set out my blog to just be a place to gather my thoughts, this would have been okay, however, this blog is designed with a mission in mind I have set guidelines and boundaries for my writing and my awesome readers tune into my work because they are interested in the subject matter.  By going off the tracks and writing about things not set out in the mission statement, I feel like I've seriously let down my readers. I value each and every one of them so much, but my writing this last month has only rarely reflected that. I want to apologize to my readers for the lack of content and the apathetic nature of the posts I did get up in this last month. I am not going to make excuses because all we really have in life is our word and in some respect, by not putting out the content I said I would, I broke mine. (along with my new year's resolution about consistency. but that's a whole other regret). Sometimes second chances don't exist. Especially in the saturated market of every industry today that is so full of choice, it really is a real achievement to get people to tune into what you have to say, and then to keep them tuning in a whole other task in itself.  Life you know, it never has been about the numbers for me. However, just because it's not about the numbers, doesn't mean I should care any less about putting out decent content.
It's really not the easiest thing in the world, life to live above emotions, but if this blog is going to be the vehicle to do what is was designed to do, then living above my emotions is something I really need to master. I know I am not perfect and this side of heaven , I never will be, but every great writer, artist, or inspirational figure that I look up to, all have in common that they learned how to handle their emotions, stay focused and complete their given tasks. Integrity is really important to me, but so is authenticity and the two don't always agree.
I think life I need to lay out once again my intentions for Daisy Change, not only on this blog but also somewhere I can see it every time I sit down to write. I set the boundaries for this blog for very good reasons. but it feels like all I've done so far this year is talk about intentions on this blog without actually carrying them out, so let's make this life, the last time that happens.
Think that's about it, catch you next time,
Love Hayley
xXx

Letters To Life 4 - Finding Me in You.

By    July 02, 2015 //


Dear Life,
You taught me last year that sometimes there is more freedom in silence than words. You and i have many secrets and I think I'm finally okay with that. I used to find it hard to keep things to myself because I craved Peoples approval, these days though ,I am more than happy to live for the audience of one. 

 I'm learning what it means to be gracefully bold.  I didn't know that such a thing existed but it does.  

I am finally at a place where I can love people from both sides of the coin. 

I can encourage, inspire, compliment and build up in love but I can also speak the truth, even if its hard to hear, I care about what happens to those put on my path, both in this life and the next and nothing brings me more joy than loving people hard-core. 

Being prepared to get into the mess, not judge but gently help girls that are where I once was to a place where they can stand and look themselves square in the mirror and see the beauty that God created, there in their eyes. 

 The older I get, the more my passion for this grows. It feels life, like this is what I was born to do, so no more games than, there's work to do. I am on a mission and I won't quit until its finished!

I love you life, you are amazing!  

Your ups and downs all lead around this winding road to new challenges, new blessings and new ground. You and I know where I am right now, I never ever thought I would ever be right at this point. 

Yet here I am. 2015 is going to be amazing, I can feel it in my code! I know Jet may show is ugly mutt face from time to time but I will always fight to win and I am all in on making Daisy Change an encouragement center to act as spring-board to greater things for my awesome readers!

Anyways, enough talk, let's make it happen!

Love Hayley
xXx
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